


Pining Heroine

by elastic_computer



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-17
Updated: 2005-06-11
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elastic_computer/pseuds/elastic_computer
Summary: Repost of a fanfic I wrote as a 14-year-old. Post-ANH, focuses on Saera, a childhood friend of Luke's who thinks he died with Beru and Owen...until she discovers otherwise. OC/OC romance. Posted exactly as it was on ff.net (including typos), minus author notes.





	1. Chapter One

_"I want to come with you to Alderaan. There is nothing here for me now."_ – Luke Skywalker

* * *

 

She thought about him all the time.

Several times an hour her thoughts would drift from their usual pattern and his face would fill her mind. She tried to stop it, tried to stop the pain the image of his soft blue eyes and light blonde hair would evoke. She tried to pretend nothing was wrong. But it was no use. The image would fill her mind, and his face was so clear it was like looking at a picture.

There was no way to escape the memories of him. He was gone, not a part of her life any more, and she wished she could just shed all thoughts of him from her mind. But no, she had to remember every single second she had spent with him, every single word he'd ever said to her, every single word she'd said back...

Saera sat on her soft, cushy bed. I t was a beautiful bed, an antique. The frame had been her grandmother's and the quilt her mother's. Saera had loved this bed when she was a child. She had always felt safe in this bed. But it could not comfort her now.

He was dead. The scouts had said everyone was dead. Killed by Sand people.

"Why?" Saera cried into her pillow. How could he be dead? She had known him all her like, and no he had been wrenched away from her so suddenly, so violently. He had always been there in the past; he'd always been a part of her life. He was only a year older than her, but they were in the same year at the local school. Well, they had been, when they'd still gone. She and Luke had had their first day of school together. He had helped her whenever she was didn't understand the schoolwork, even if he was equally miffed.

Luke had always protected her from the bullies at the school like she was his little sister. _Little sister_ , she thought bitterly. _Like a little sister_. Why was she remembering this about him?

She should be remembering more important things. The things that had made her love him...

Luke had never known how she'd felt about him. How she loved him, all of him. For as long as she could remember she had loved him. And she had never told him. She had been too afraid of what he might think of her. She knew he would never, ever laugh at her face, but what if that was what he felt like inside? She could never have lived with that.

So she just never told him. And now she never would.

Saera sobbed harder into her pillow. She felt so empty inside, like there was a big hole in her soul. Then she heard a knock at her door.

"Go away!" she yelled. But with the pillow muffling her, he knew she'd never be heard. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

"Sweetheart, Saera, darling, can I talk to you?" a deep voice called from the other side of the door. She couldn't be bothered replying; her father would barge in no matter what she said, and she was too exhausted from grief to deal with him. Saera heard, as she had predicted, the sound of a door opening and someone walking into the room. Then the door closed and her father walked over to a chair near the bed and sat.

"Saera, what's wrong?"

Saera lifted her head from the pillow and sat up. "What do you mean, 'what's wrong?' Three people I knew my entire life just got murdered brutally by a bunch of sand pigs and you ask me 'what's wrong?'" She yelled the last part. She knew her father would get all uppity about it, but she didn't care. He was the only one that cared. Who was going to hear her, his stupid rock gardeners? They didn't care. Who even needed rock gardeners, especially on a sand pit like Tatooine?

"Well, yes, it's sad about Beru and Owen and Luke. Tragic really, but you don't need to get yourself so worked up about it. I don't know why you're acting like this, it's not like you at all."

"No, Dad, it's not like _you_. This is exactly like _me_. I wear my emotions on my sleeve all the time, and I act like an idiot sometimes, but that's me. Of course, that doesn't matter to you, does it? Because you're so wonderful and perfect and I'm supposed to be like you in every way and grow up a perfect lady and move to some weird culturally rich place like Alderaan or something. I always have to be exactly like you or it's completely unacceptable. Why is that, Dad? Why is it that you're so horrible and demanding?"

"Watch your mouth, young lady! You are not to speak to your elders like that!"

"There it is again." Saera flopped down on her bed so she was lying on her side facing her father.

"You just don't understand, do you?" she said tiredly. "They mattered to me, and I'm going to show that. Can't you get that?"

"Well, yes, I suppose, but I just don't see _why_. They were just low-key moisture farmers."

Saera sat up. "Oh, I see. That's it. You're annoyed because I don't want the whole "high society" thing you've got planned for me. You're annoyed because I care about them and they weren't as well off as us." She spat it out.

"No, that's not—"

"Yes, it is true! I should have never bothered trying to talk to you. You don't understand. You've never understood! My mother would have understood!"

"Don't you speak to me like that! I've had enough of you disrespect!" Now her father raised his voice. He was always upset when her mother was mentioned. She knew he was going to blow completely soon if she kept going on like this, but she couldn't help it. She was so angry she wanted to scratch his eyes out,

_My own father..._

"Dad, why do you have to be so...so..." Finding herself not able to select the exact right word, she turned and screamed into the pillow instead.

"Well, really, they were just poor farmers. Owen was a bad gambler who couldn't hold his liquor, Beru was never anything special even in her youth, and Luke was a silly deluded _boy_!"

"How dare you say those things!" Saera screamed so loud she made her own ears ring. "Are you really so shallow that all you see is outside appearances? Owen was loyal and hardworking and kept up with his farming, even when times were rough. Beru was kind, gentle, sweet, and always willing to help. And Luke was smart, and strong, and caring, and handsome, and...Saera drifted into a misty gaze. Suddenly aware of her father's eyes she looked down and picked slightly at the quilt.

"I see where this is going, Saera. I don't like it. Why?"

"Jeez, Dad, why are you so horrible? Just because I loved someone who was not a kajillionaire or whatever doesn't mean anything." She jumped up, then gasped. It was the first time she'd confessed her love for Luke to anyone. But she couldn't stop to think about that now. Not when she was on a roll. "It doesn't mean anything, except that I'm not a prejudiced pig like you!"

"Sit down right now." He stood up, speaking through clenched teeth with such anger that she was scared for a couple seconds but mustered her resolve. She had to take a stand and start to make her own decisions.

"NO! I'll sit down hen I want, I'll yell when I want, I'll stand up for what's right when I want. Can't you see, I'm not a child anymore! I can make my own decisions, and I'll do whatever I want!

Her father seemed somewhat surprised at this statement, an emotion she didn't often see him wear. Then all of a sudden his expression changed back to one of pure rage.

"You'll regret you ever said that," he barely uttered, a sure sign of his mounting anger.

He stormed out of the room before she could come back at him, slamming the door on his way out.

She knew what was coming next. He was going to come back at her full force, make her life a misery for months to come. He'd ban her from going anywhere, doing anything. She knew because she'd done things like this before, though not quite of this magnitude.

Yes, she knew all about the routine. But she was so sick of it.


	2. Chapter Two

A figure wrapped up in blue cloth arrived at Mos Eisley in a well-kept speeder bike. Gathering its belongings, the human parked the bike with some difficulty on the side of a minor road. Pulling off the cloth wrapped around her head, Saera began to look around for anyone friendly enough to help her. She tried to stop several humans, but they just brushed past her. Where was she going to find someone she could ask about ships?

Saera spotted a general information office nearby and pushed through the market crowds to reach it. Though it seemed to be quite rundown and dingy, there appeared to be a human, who presumably spoke basic, behind a desk in the musky interior. Saera pushed open the doors and entered. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, but she could soon make out the features of a woman a bit older than herself.

"Excuse me ma'am, is this an information area?"

"Ya, whaddya want?"

"Um, do you know where I could get a ship?"

"Listen, kid, you've gotta have a pilot's license to get a ship around here."

"Aren't they all just computer controlled these days?"

The woman laughed. "Ha, you wish! To get anywhere you've gotta have a stupid hotshot pilot taggin' along. I can put you in touch with an agency, though. You'll probably find someone there to wherever it is you want to go."

"Oh. Thank you," Saera replied, taking the offered business card. She just wanted to be by herself on this journey, but she supposed she couldn't really deal with a ship anyway. "Do you know where the nearest interplanetary bank is?"

"Yeah, just go down this street and take the second left. The big beige building with the goofy lookin' triangle on the front. Is that all?" She seemed very irritated that she was actually having to  _do_  her job.

"Yes, thank you." She picked up her pack and stepped out into the sunlight again, feeling much more confidant that she was going to find a way to do this. She just couldn't deal with her father anymore. Now that Luke was...gone, she didn't really have a reason to stay on Tatooine. She felt alone there. So now, she was going to start a new life. Coruscant sounded fascinating, even if it was the center of the Empire. She didn't know if the Empire was really that good or bad. She'd never really gotten into that kind of thing. Luke had hated it...

No, she must not think of Luke just yet. When she was in hyperspace, with Tatooine and her father behind her, then she would mourn some more. Because, after all, she was going to start the life she'd always wanted to have with Luke, in the center of things, away from the dull. The life she'd hoped she'd have if she ever did tell him...

Saera opened an account at the bank, depositing all but a hundred credits of the life savings she'd brought with her from home. She already had an account, but it was through her father's main one. She wasn't entirely sure about the clerk she'd been dealing with, but there was nothing she could do about that. She needed to be able to access her money without the risk of it being stolen.

Then she made her way to find a ship it turned out that "agency" meant a yard full of ships where you just pick one and hope the pilot is in and willing to drive you across the galaxy.

_Oh, great. How am I going to tell a good ship from a bad one? _She glanced around, trying to see if she could find a pilot near a ship, presumably theirs. Saera spotted a tall, reddish-brown-haired man wearing dark green pants and a strange design of shirt. He was in an odd position, twiddling with something on a solid-looking but slightly dinged ship. Alt least the ship looked large enough for a somewhat comfortable ride. She walked up to it.

Sensing a presence nearby, the man straightened out. He looked to be about five years older than her and a thin body. He would looked to be almost scrawny from a distance, but truly wasn't. He also had deep blue eyes that laughed. They were not blue like Luke's, they were much darker than Luke's...

"Glynn Torshnar, what can I do for you," he said in a slightly joking way, as if he expected her to laugh at him pretending she needed his service.

"Saera Mernoai. I need a ship, and apparently a pilot, to get me to Coruscant," she told him in a tone she might have used to speak to that stupid rock gardener. He could obviously sense that she did not hold him in high esteem, but kept that fakey business smile.

"Well she's not much for speed, kind of a plodder. But the  _Gaellia_ 'll get you there unharmed, which is more than you can say for some ships." He made a face to demonstrate his contempt for "some ships."

"You mean it's not fast?"

"Like I said, she's safe." He shrugged apologetically.

"What am I going to do with a dumb slow ship?"

"I don't know, maybe hire it?" he said sarcastically. "Actually, you know what, cancel that. I've been in hyperspace with a lot of arrogant people before, and I don't particularly feel like doing it again. Especially in such a  _slow ship_ , where I'll be stuck with you for weeks! No thank you, not interested!" He was shouting by the end of this and was only a few feet from her. She was seething, though. So she'd been a little curt. That was no reason for him to blow up at her, especially when she was supposed to be a customer!

"Well, you've just lost a fare, because I'm not letting you pilot me anywhere!" With that she spun out of the corner that his ship was in and strode out the door of the hanger.

Then she felt a pang of guilt. She'd been pretty horrible to him for no reason other than she was a little ticked that she had to hire someone to pilot her. Well, and the whole losing-Luke-and-running-away-from-home thing, but neither of those were his fault, and it didn't excuse her behavior. She felt the need to apologize but couldn't bring herself to actually facing him after acting so terrible.

Oh well. She'd never see him again.

Glynn walked the streets of Mos Eisley later that day, traveling to the cantina nearby. He couldn't stop thinking about that girl wrapped in blue, Saera what's-her-name. He couldn't help but feel that he's been short-tempered, but she was the one that had started it, treating him like a tool rather than a person.

He'd had a lousy day, though. First the little oiling light thing had gone out on the  _Gaellia_. That in its self wasn't too bad, just that it meant he had to hire a droid to fix her up, and that had cost some major credits. And then he'd lost that fare to Solo and his pet monkey yesterday, so he was still sore about that. It had looked like a good job, too, for a couple of guys from out near Anchorhead. An old man and a youth, his nephew maybe.

Glynn didn't really  _hate_  Solo and the Wookiee; he more envied their ship and good fortune. Sure, Glynn loved the  _Gaellia_ , and she was very special to him, but she wasn't enough to make him a substantial living. He thought wistfully of all the things he could do with the money from just a few good jobs. On the top of his list were engines. The girl had been right about one thing; those things were due for an update. It was getting so hard to compete with people like Sol when these days the majority of people wanted speed over safety. And Solo wasn't even really in the charter biz. He was a smuggler!

All this had been eating away at him, but what right did that give him to treat the poor girl like that? She was so young, she looked barely out of her teens, maybe even still in them. She was probably scared to death, that was why she'd treated him like...well, dirt.

But he had to stand up for himself! Maybe he shouldn't have been so assertive...but he had a right...

He kept arguing with himself, going half mad.  _Cut it out, Glynn! You can't do anything now, anyway._

No sooner had he thought this than he saw a crumple of blue fabric in a back street out of the corner of his eye.

_No way..._

He moved in to investigate the heap and spotted a dark brown-haired head. Cautiously turning it over, he looked in shock at the features of the girl he'd been driving himself crazy over. He sat for a minute with her head in his hands, examining the large cuts he found on her abdomen, cheek, and wrist.

_You could just leave her here..._

Instantly he rebuked himself.  _Stop pretending to be unsympathetic and help her, idiot. A second ago you wanted to apologize for what you did._

Gathering her limp form in his arms, he started back to the  _Gaellia_.


	3. Chapter Three

_"Luke, Luke, help me!" Saera cried out for him as the hungry birds cornered her, intent on pecking her to death then eating her soul._

_"No! No, Luke!" Luke was trying to come through to help her, but the birds turned on him, pecking out his eyes. He drowned beneath their feathers and suddenly she was drowning too. Her chest was heavy, she couldn't breathe._

_And then she was sitting as an old lady, looking at a picture of a young Luke and sobbing. Her hands turned to ash when she reached up to wipe the tears and they burned her cheeks like a hot, hot fire-_

Saera gasped and sat straight up on the bunk, touching her burning cheek.

"Stop that, don't touch it," a voice she couldn't quite place soothed her. "Just relax, lay down, and I'll fix you up." An image she'd been thinking about a bit then filled her vision, that of Glynn Torshnar.

"You're the-the pilot?"

"Shh, you should rest. And I need you to stay till so I can apply this salve."

"But-what happened?"

Why don't you tell me? I found you slumped on the ground in an alley near the Mos Eisley Cantina. "Suddenly her memory came back to her.

"Oh!" she gasped. "I was following a-a lizard man, you know, with the big teeth and tails. He was taking me to a hotel...should've asked the lady at the desk...led me into the alley, more lizards and a green bug, with knives...I fought...too strong..." She started getting excited, wanting to know how he'd found her.

"Shh, stop it." He pushed her gently onto the bed again. "I've already told you all that I know. And really, I had just dragged you back to the  _Gaellia_  when you started screaming about some guy Luke."

"Oh, sorry about that." She averted her dark eyes, embarrassed. "Wait, why would you help me!"

"Hey, it's not like I haven't got a heart!" He protested, making her feel a little silly. He took a gentler tone. "I guess I just happened to walk past at the right moment and saw you laying there...you could've been there for a while."

"Yeah," she agreed, but her mind was on the fact that he had walked past. Someone, some _thing_ , wanted her to ride on his ship. There was no other way to explain it. She didn't dare to trust the meetings to chance.

Taking a business-like, yet friendlier tone than she had earlier that day, Saera apologized.

"Mr...Torshnar. Uh, I would like to thank you for your kindness and apologize for the way I acted yesterday. It was very immature and not respectful at all."

Taken aback, he followed suit. "Thank you-I mean...yeah. Sorry for how I acted, too. I mean I was having a bad day, but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"No, it was my fault."

Not wanting to make eye contact, he suddenly remembered the salve he had been trying to apply to her cuts.

"Hold still."

She obeyed and warm hands touched her cheeks. What they carried burned, but she realized it was a good, tingly burning of antiseptic and something else, presumably a bacta concentrate.

"How many cuts do I have?"

"Three. Wrist, stomach, cheek. You didn't lose too much blood, though; they aren't very deep, just long. And I don't think you'll get scars with this paste."

Glynn moved to her wrist with the same burning stuff, and she studied his face. He had beautiful eyelashes, the kind she'd always wanted instead of her stubby little ones. And she could see now that his dark red hair shimmered with highlights. His nose was straight and not that large, his chin square but not terribly so. His mouth was down turned as he concentrated on medical attention to her.

"This may hurt more, it's longer than the rest. Saera closed her eyes and there was a great burning on her stomach. But the image of Glynn's perfect eyelashes was imprinted in her mind.

_Luke's hardly been dead a couple of days and I'm already looking at other men!_

She felt terribly guilty and was suddenly pained by the memory of the last time she'd ever seen him. This was it, she'd told herself, she was going to confess her love. But then his friends had turned up. She couldn't tell him in front of his friends, they'd laugh for sure! She remembered his last smile at her and gasped out a sob.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

She gave Glynn a weak smile. "No, no, I'm fine."

There was a sudden loud beep. "What's that?"

"Comm radio. I'm finished here, you should get some rest. I've got to answer that." He put down the salve on a little table in a corner and walked out of the room. Saera watched him go, resisting the urge to comment on his butt to herself.

* * *

Glynn left the guest room somewhat confused by his entire encounter with Saera. What had just happened in there? Well, besides patching up her wounds and filling each other in on the accident. At first she seemed somewhat distressed, then cheerful, then all distressed again. He wondered if her really  _had_  hurt her with the salve. Oh well, she'd needed it anyway.

Glynn pressed a large red button on the comm terminal. A picture of a light-haired woman he occasionally conversed with filled the screen.

"Glynn?"

"Hey, Taria, what's wrong? You only ever call me when there's trouble."

"Too true," she said wistfully. "This time it's big trouble. You'll never guess what I just learned: Alderaan has been destroyed."

"What?"

"Destroyed. Completely obliterated. Blown to bits. No one on the planet survived."

"How? Why? Who told you?"

"A 'friend' of mine." He knew by that she meant a rebel, but it was just so unsafe to say so on open transmission lines.

"Well, how'd it happen?"

"They say it's some sort of battle station...a death star." She looked around and lowered her voice. "They also say it's already been destroyed in the Yavin system.  _And_  that it was some kid from that planet you're on, Tatooine. By the way, good job picking an out-of-the way place, I had a hell of a time trying to find you," she said, irritated.

"Great. Whatever. Tell me more."

"Oh yeah, the kid's name is Luke Skywalker, new hero of the Rebellion."

_Luke? Aw that name must have a thousand owners._ But how many on Tatooine? It was worth checking out.

Glynn grilled her for the next couple of minutes on the details of Alderaan and the Death Star. Yes, it was Imperial. No, she didn't know if there were any survivors of the station, and so on. After getting all this information and ending the call, Glynn sat in his pilot's chair, contemplating what he's been give.

_Even if it's not the same Luke as Saera's, she'll still want to know about Alderaan and the whole situation. I know I would. Well, there's only one way to find out if she knows a war hero._

Glynn got up and walked to the guest quarters.


	4. Chapter Four

When Glynn arrived in the guest quarters, Saera was asleep again.

_Geez, she must have been really tired..._

He glanced down at her face. She really looked very pretty, perhaps beautiful. He dark brown, almost black hair fell in waves down to her chest. There were a few shorter bits covering her eyes. Without thinking about what he was doing her reached down to brush them away. Now he could see her long, straight eyebrows cutting through her skin cleanly. The skin was blemish-free, save for a few freckles across the bridge of her nose, and lightly tanned.

_That's what you get on Tatooine, a tan. Not an invalid_ , he thought almost bitterly.

Saera looked peaceful, except for the silly downward frown crumpling her moth. She wasn't the spitfire that had walked up to him yesterday. But then, people generally look peaceful when they sleep, he supposed. He debated whether to wake her now, sit and wait until she woke on her own, or do something else until she woke and sought him. Lying down on the bunk on the opposite side of the room, Glynn decided on his second option. She shouldn't stay asleep for too long; he was pretty sure she hadn't eaten for a while. He was right. Within half an hour Saera had awoken and he was telling her about what had happened to Alderaan.

"But-how could a space station, even one as big as you described, destroy a whole planet?"

"I don't know. I may never know. The rebels have destroyed the thing."

"What? I mean, that's good, but how?"

"A well-placed shot." He leaned forward and looked at her intently, making her feel oddly inside. "The man who made the shot is Luke Skywalker."

"That-that-it's not possible!" All the color had drained from her face and she was gripping the mattress of the bunk very tightly.

"Are you OK?" Glynn crossed the room to kneel by her bunk.

"No he's dead! Luke Skywalker is dead! They said he was dead!" Saera was staring at a spot in front of her, oblivious to Glynn's questions of whether she was all right. She stayed that way for a minute or so, he brain processing the information it had received. Then she slowly gave a weak smile, turning to look at Glynn.

"He's alive. Luke is alive."

"...and? What's so wonderful about this Skywalker guy?"

Saera smiled even more. "Oh, everything!" Then, realizing the slightly put-off look on Glynn's face, she quickly added, "I mean, he's a friend. They...they said he'd been killed by sand people, the monsters of the desert. But they only found two bodies, you see. And there was Owen, Beru, and Luke. Oh, don't you see, he's alive!"

Glynn did see, and he didn't know why he felt a tiny bit jealous. She talked about him like they been...lovers or something.

_So what? You don't know this girl, and she doesn't know you. So quit it. What kind of sick, horny old man are you? She's practically a kid..._

Suddenly, Saera had a revelation. "Where did you say he was?"

"I didn't. All I know is that the rebels blew up the Death Star. He must be with them."

"Where are they, then?"

"Look, Miss..."

"Mernoai. But call me Saera. When someone pulls you out of a gutter unconscious, I think that person should get to be on first name basis." She grinned at him.

"Then call me Glynn. Look, Saera, it's extremely hard to find the rebels unless you know where to look. Why else do you think the Empire hasn't tracked them down yet? And besides, they've probably moved base by now."

"That' doesn't mean I can't try!" she snapped. "I mean, sorry. It's just that...oh, he's alive! You don't get it!" She took a deep breath, calming herself down.

"Mr. Tor-Glynn, I'd like to repay you for your kindness and hire you long-term to fin the rebels for me."

Something inside him whispered that things were going to get a lot weirder with a female hanging around his ship all the time. Especially one with such obvious issues as Saera had. But hope of credits drew him in. That, and for some strange reason he liked the girl.

"How much are we talking?" Saera named a figure and he gave out a low whistle.  _Forget new engines! I could buy a whole new ship for that!_

"Deal." He grinned and shook her hand.

"So, where  _are_  the rebels?" Saera asked him.

"My source said somewhere in the Yavin system, but I'm sure they'd have moved by-"

"Please, let's go to Yavin. Maybe they left some clue to where they're going. Or...they might still be there." The thought made her feel so warm inside, like she'd just taken a long bath.

"Yavin's clear across the galaxy! In this ship it'll take...at least a month. By then the rebels  **will** have moved.

"Please? You do want to get paid, don't you?" Saera gave him a look that involved wobbling her lower lip. He had to laugh at her silliness.

"Fine already, just don't do the lost look! The cute, it burns!" She joined him in laughing. The sight almost made him stop and stare. She was truly beautiful when she laughed, in a way he'd never seen before.

"What?" She giggled at his slightly dazed expression.

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Sorry. Yavin it is." He strode out of the room quickly. Saera was left wondering what had changed the mood of their conversation so quickly. It had started out a power struggle, even with Saera's promise of enormous amounts of credits. Then they'd had some fun. She'd laughed for the first time since Luke had died.

_Not died, just left!_

Then, all of a sudden, Glynn had gone all weird again. She didn't understand what had happened.

_Whatever, It's not my problem._ Luke  _is my problem._ She grinned, thinking about their reunion.  _I'll wear my hair up. Or maybe I'll get a new cut. And I'll definitely need something **gorgeous**  to wear. Oh, right, I'll have to get something new, somewhere, I don't know where..._

Saera realized she'd have to stop thinking in terms of her old life. Everything had changed now; she had no more endless wardrobe, no more silly friends to impress, and no more irritating fathers to ignore. All she had left was a limited amount of money, Glynn, the  _Gaellia_ , and Luke.

Then she became aware of how hungry she was and looked for the intercom controls that connected with the cockpit.


	5. Chapter Five

Saera woke up the next morning and realized how dirty gutters, and the people in them, could be. Running her fingers through her hair resulted in grease and dirt lodging into her fingernails. The only semi-clean parts on her body were where Glynn had applied the salve yesterday, or where she wasn't exposed to the street. Her clothes were also pretty torn up and grubby from the fight and lying in the alley. She grabbed a pair of coveralls that Glynn had said she could use and stepped into the 'fresher for a sonic shower, which she supposed was better than nothing.

Dressing quickly, Saera walked to the small dining/rec room Glynn had shown her on their grand tour yesterday and ate a quick breakfast of some instant gruel.  _Yuck. I don't know if I can get used to food like this._

She hurried through the meal. At 8 time parts they were launching to Yavin. She'd have to be in the cockpit and strapped into a chair, so she wanted to be ready for her first space flight ever.

_I'm getting OFF this hunk of rock. And I'm going to see Luke again!_

The view from the cockpit when the  _Gaellia_ took off was spectacular. Although, once she was looking down at Mos Eisley, she felt a little queasy. Glynn assured her that this was common among first-time flyers.

"Oh, look! Do you think that's Anchorhead? Well, probably not. Anchorhead's too small..." she craned to see the over the piloting controls, pushing against her seat restraints. "Anchorhead's right by...home." The last word came out strangled as she sat back in her seat again, watching the surface of Tatooine slowly recede until all she could see was an orange mass half-filling the cockpit screen. Saera felt a few warm tears slide down her cheek and plash onto the coveralls' front pocket. She didn't make a sound but sat weeping silently as Glynn calculated the last adjustments for the hyperspace jump.

She was leaving everything she'd ever known. It wasn't that she'd loved what she'd known, but at least she'd known it. Space was a BIG place, full of situations and complications she didn't know if she was ready for, full of people she wouldn't know how to talk to.

_But you're going towards everything you've ever wanted. Travel, adventure, a new life, and...Luke._

For some reason it also comforted her that she'd be traveling with Glynn. At least she knew that this was one person she could probably trust, one person that wasn't going to take advantage of her.

"Hyperspace in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

Saera was jolted even further back into her seat. She felt an exhilarating rush watching the stars speed into thin streaks against the screen of the cockpit. She watched in awe as Glynn grinned over at her,

"You look like someone gave you an electrical shock!" he teased.

"Hey, it's my first time flying!" But try as she might to sound angry, she giggled all the same. She'd seen her reflection, and she did, in fact, look like she'd been given an electrical shock.

"So," Glynn said, unstrapping his flight restraint. "What are you leaving behind?"

Saera looked down at her hands, unbuckling to give herself something to do. "Nothing any good."

"Um, anything more...clarifying than that?"

"What do you want, my whole life story? Fine, I guess so. Well, I was born 19 standard years ago to a fairly wealthy mass-moisture farmer's son with an inflated head. Closed down the farms because it was 'below' him, invested in a few small businesses, made a lot of money. Still a...well, I think you get the picture."

"Yeah. What about your mother?"

"My mother...my mother...she died, OK? Look, so we really have to talk about this? I mean, I hired you as a pilot, not some sort of psychologist or whatever it is you're trying to be!" She glared at him, his face shocked from her sudden outburst. "Sorry, I just...don't want to talker about this right now, OK?"

"No, no, I should have known not to try to talk to you about your family. I should have known not to try to get to know you. I mean, that's not my place, is it? That's not what I'm here for." He accused her with his eyes more than his tightened voice. "After all, I'm just the pilot." Getting up, he stormed out of the cockpit.

She rose out of her seat and tried to talk "Glynn, I didn't-" He cut her off with a wave of the hand. She sighed and sank down into her chair.

"I didn't mean it like that."

* * *

When she reached the guest quarters Saera pressed her ear to the wall, hoping to hear some sound from Glynn's quarters. There was nothing.

This time she felt the fight truly was her fault. Last time Glynn had blown up at her a little bit, he'd overreacted. But just then he was only trying to get to know her a little better and she'd acted like her father, with the whole "you're just a pilot!" She felt awful and wanted to apologize but was afraid that it would just start another yelling match.  _Best to leave it until we've both calmed down a little. I'll have to talk to him tomorrow, anyway._

She'd decided what to do about Yavin. Glynn was right in that the rebels would be gone. She needed new clothes. They also needed better food. And they needed to find out where the rebels were now. The only logical conclusion was to pick a new destination.

* * *

"Look, Glynn, I'm really sorry about yesterday," Saera said the next day. They had been eating, until then, a silent breakfast in the dining/rec room. She'd made sure to get up early enough to catch him, but hadn't quite figured out what to say until just hadn't even made eye contact. She'd gotten a grunt when she'd said hello. Well, she probably deserved that.

"You were just trying to make conversation, I shouldn't have jumped on you like that. It's just that...my mother's a difficult subject. She died when I was seven and...it's been hard growing up with my father. Like I said before, not the greatest guy.

Glynn wasn't talk, or even looking at her, just kind of staring down at his goopy breakfast. Then he chuckled gently and looked up.

"Ah, I don't know what's wrong with me. Why is it that this is the second time since I met you three days ago that we've been angry at each other? I mean, I'm a pretty friendly guy, or at least I like to think I am. I try to be. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. Maybe I've just be under a lot of stress..." He ran his hand through his hair. "But that's not something I need to worry you with. You are still my customer, even if you yell at me." He grinned at her.

"Well, let's stop with this puzzle for a while. I wanted to talk to you about Yavin. You were right; it's stupid to go there. We need to go somewhere we can learn where the rebels are going next. And where I can get some new clothes." She grinned and gestured to the coveralls she was still wearing. "This is all I have right now, and they're not all that comfortable, sorry to tell you."

Glynn smiled at her, looking a little less depressed than he had at the beginning of their conversation.  _Well, that's a plus, I guess. A sad pilot makes for a sad crew._

"Let's go look at some starmaps, then. We'll see if we can find something nearby." He led the way into the cockpit and activated the navigation console as she looked over his shoulder.

"Bothawui. Perfect! It'll be just a minor shift in trajectory; we'll be there in less than twelve hours. They're also, last I heard, full of rebel supporters. And I'm sure you can go shopping there." He grinned at his last comment and she found herself smiling back.

_A new planet! The first non-Tatooine soil I'll ever put my feet on! Bothawui..._


	6. Chapter Six

Saera looked out the cockpit and grinned. She could see a view of Bothawui's sparkling capital city. She couldn't wait to put her feet on the ground and know she had finally become an interplanetary traveler. Even the two weeks it had taken to get to Bothawui, though wonderful, had been too long to be protected from a cold vacuum by only a couple of sheets of metal. She didn't quite trust ships enough yet.

Plus they were going to stay on the planet overnight while officials checked the ship. Glynn assured her it was just a routine check and they'd be out of there soon. Probably too soon for her tastes. But who cared? She'd be spending a night in a hotel on Bothawui!

She could barely contain herself as she waited for Glynn to give the shout that everything was fine. Looking out at the capital city of Bothawui, it was bigger than she'd ever been able to imagine. The sun glinted off the glass in the buildings, creating glares like bright jewels. Everything on Tatooine had such and old, weathered look that Saera was sure she'd never seen anything gleam like this.

There were even patches of bright green grass strewn through the maze of sidewalks and streets. It looked so vibrant and alive an inviting that she wanted to sit and smell and feel and soak it up, a memory to draw upon later if she was ever alone and tired, a memory to soothe.

"We've just been cleared. We can leave." Glynn hopped into the cockpit, trying to put up a good show but looking a little weary.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. Just over-zealous government officials. They must've made me sign every flimsy and every data pad in the building!" He grinned at her. "But, I guess I'd better start my search for the elusive rebels! As long as I say the right things to the right people, it should be pretty easy to get something. And I guess you should find us a cheap hotel and then go sightseeing or whatever. I'll meet you by the interplanetary bank at 17 time parts. Should be easy enough to find. Here, let me see..." He bent over and rummaged through a storage compartment. "Here, it's a map. I keep one of everywhere I've been. Planets kinda run together after a couple of years."

"Thanks." There was a silence that neither of them could seem to fill. Then Glynn spoke up abruptly.

"Well, I'm going to, uh, find your friend, I guess. Come on, we'd better get started."

"Right." They exited the ship and parted ways.

Saera was having an amazing time. After booking the nicest hotel in town for a night she'd hit the high-end shops. Buying clothes had never filled her with this much excitement before, probably because she'd only ever done it from a catalogue. She'd been able to see herself in things before she bought them and picture in her mind exactly where and how shed wear everything.

And she'd gotten a new haircut, too. Saera had always loved her locks, but with a new life came a new look, she decided. Layering, and lots of it. The shortest layer created a loose fringe in front of her eyes that came just to the bridge of her nose. The longest layer came just above her armpit. And highlights. Golden brown highlights.

Then there was the dress.  **The**  dress, actually, fitting so well it was like a skin. Deep ruby red, it set off the glimmers in her slightly oval eyes. A low V-neck and even lower back gave her the look of one much older than 19. And it even tended to make he behind look somewhat smaller than it's usual size! Yes, this was  **the**  dress, the one she'd wear for her reunion with Luke. Saera sighed with a smile as she pictured that reunion. Luke was going to be stunned, she was sure. This was not the little girl he'd left behind on Tatooine. This was, dare she think? a woman.

She checked a nearby chrono and noted it was almost 17 time parts. She'd better make her way towards the meeting area. When she got there, Glynn was already leaning against a wall and his eyes went wide at the number and size of the bags she was carrying.

"You're gonna wear all that?" He looked down at her still-coveralled form.

"Yeah..." she was a bit confused.

"Sorry, it's just...wow! Got enough already?"

"Whatever. Are we going to the hotel?" She remembered that she was the one who knew where it was. "Oh, yeah/ Sorry, I'm just forgetful today, I guess. First time off-planet."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Wanna hear what I got?"

"Of course!" She stood next to him so that he could lower his voice.

"Well, word is that the rebels are headed to..." he glanced around, leaned in close, andwhispered the planet's name in her ear.

"But, how'd you figure that out? I mean, really, wouldn't the Empire find out if it was that easy?"

"Oh, it wasn't. I had to find a drunkard, tell him a heart-wrenching tale about a daughter whose father had joined because he thought she was but dead but really wasn't, and then convince him we wanted to join. The story alone was tough enough!"

"Thanks for everything." Saera blushed, aware of how hard he'd been working on her behalf.

"No problem, that's what I'm getting paid for." Again, there was an ominous silence.

"Well, uh, the hotel I booked us is the Silk Flower-"

"Saera! That's the most expensive hotel on Bothawui! You could buyawholescrappy ship for the amount you're talking!"

"Well, I figure that it wouldn't cut into me expenses  _that_  much..."

"But it could! You don't have Daddy around to help you with your pocket money anymore. You gotta get a job or make it last! Hey! Where're you going?" Saera had stormed away from him, again. He decided he might have to get used to this.

"To the hotel." She spun on her heel to face him, hands on hips. "You coming, or are you going to continue to act like you're my father or something? If only for the age difference you could never be my father! Unless you knocked up some girl when you were 7 or something, and I don't even want to  _think_  about the possibilities of that!" She fumed off and he jogged to catch up with her. One thing was for certain, he thought, grinning inwardly. Saera would always be able to hold her own in an insult contest.

Glynn had to admit, the thousands Saera had probably spent on this suite were going to be  _very_  appreciated.  _Very appreciated indeed._ He sank into the enormous bed in his little section of the suite. His room came complete with an attached bathroom (with a very luxurious bath) and a balcony. It also led into a kitchen and bar shared by the rest of the suite. Not that he would cook. But the free booze might come in handy.  _Maybe I can spike her drink and get her to loosen up for a change. Hmmn..._ He seriously considered it, but decided to try to make up with her instead. He went and knocked on the door dividing her room and the big living room. He'd beengetting an awful cold shoulder ever since he'd given her the lecture on her money.

"What?" Saera spat through the door.

"I just wanted to, uh, apologize about that back there. I mean, it's just...ever since I figured you're a runaway, I feel kinda like I have to educate you in, you know, the real world. Not that I'm assuming it's my place. Or that Tatooine isn't real, it's just pretty...isolated. And you're only 19! Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm not much older. And I did not knock anyone up when I was 7, OK?" he chuckled. "Girls still had cooties when I was 7. But, yeah. Even for me, life hasn't truly begun yet, I've heard you don't even know yourself until you're 30. So how can you even know how to live?" He paused, contemplating. "Hey, you didn't die on me, did you?"

The door cracked open a sliver. "No. That was just really...deep." She took a breath. "Um, apology accepted. And sorry for saying...yeah." Though he couldn't see it, he felt sure she was blushing and looking down at the ground.

He grinned. "Hey, all's fair in love and war, right?"  _What's wrong with you? You're not in love OR at war!_  "Gods, I'm stupid. I don't even know why I said that. Must've picked it up off a holovid ad or something."  _No, no, say something smart or nothing at all!_

"Yeah," came the quiet response.

Silence. Gods, he couldn't bear the excess of silence!

"Anyway, it's almost dinnertime. Care to join me in raiding the minifridge?" he joked.

The door opened halfway and she was standing there, smiling. "That sounds like fun."


	7. Chapter Seven

"So, how  _did_  you escape the evil fortress, then?" Saera was explaining to Glynn how she'd run away from home, sliding around the parts that showed her love for Luke, for a reason she couldn't quite figure out. "Give me all the dirty details," he said, grinning.

"There's aren't any. I know, I know, it's  _so_ cliché, but...I tied together the bed sheets and climbed out the window." She took a bite of the nerf sausage they'd found in the fridge and were now enjoying at the kitchen table. "But what about you? I mean, I've told you all this about me, and all I really know about you is your name, profession, and disdain for cooties."

" _Former_  disdain for cooties, ma'am." He took a swig of the small bottle of wine they'd also opened. " I do not believe in such thing anymore," he said with a high-and-mighty aura that made her break down into laughs.

"Fine,  _former_  disdain for cooties. But tell me something, Glynn. Like...what's your ship named after?" She reached for the wine bottle.

Glynn's face went serious. "Mom. Her name was Gaellia. The ship's named after her. Mom was a strong woman. The Loser, my dad, left her before I was born. Probably in a gutter somewhere now, or dead. Mom took care of me all on her own and raised me the best she could. It was tough: we were living in a mining colony on a planet whose name I can't even pronounce, the last place she and my dad ended up. He stuck her there when he left, and then when I was born, she couldn't really leave because she didn't have the money. It wasn't the greatest place to grow up in, but she taught me all the morals I have and did her best to raise me right. I loved her for it so, so much. She...she died just after I got the ship." He stared at his hands on the table.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I guess that's one thing we've got in common. I miss my mother too. I think maybe you always miss someone who was an integral part of your life, you know. Now I'm starting to spout off 'meaning of life' junk!" She poured a little more wine into her glass and drank it quickly, half-laughing as he protested her description of their earlier conversation. Puling the glass away and grinning, she wiped the tendrils of wine dripping from her chin.

Saera and Glynn's eyes locked, and neither of them wanted to break contact. But Saera, at least, didn't want to  _look_ like she didn't want to break contact, either. Eventually she couldn't take it and glanced down, diverting her eyes and ending the moment. She felt a warm heat rising in her cheeks as she heard him shuffling around across from her.

"I think I'm a little drunk. I mean, I'm kind of, uh, flushed. Isn't that supposed to happen when you're drunk or something?"

"Yeah, sure. That's a good theory. Maybe I'm drunk too..."

Glancing at the wall chrono, she saw the time. It was fairly late. She pointed this out. "Don't we have to get up kind of early tomorrow?"

"No." Glynn's eyes stared at her, the boyish grin gone.

"Well, um, I'd better get to bed anyway. I'm getting sleepy..."

"You sure?" he asked her pointedly.

"Yes," she whispered. Then, suddenly aware she was apparently enraptured by his eyes again, she stood up from the table and began to put the dishes in the washer and throw away the garbage. Glynn stood up to help, his hand occasionally brushing hers and making her feel warm and tingly.

_Shut up. It's just the wine. You drank almost half the bottle of wine. It's just the wine. It's just the wine..._

Glynn walked her to her bedroom door, although it was just two rooms away. When they got there she turned to him, not quite sure what to say.

"Um, thanks for inviting me over to the minifridge." she tried to joke, but was acutely aware of his gaze, though her eyes were downturned.

"No problem," he almost whispered. She could nearly feel his breath on her a looked up, once again becoming caught in the spell of those dark, deep blue eyes. He leaned an arm against the doorframe, half-trapping her against the door. She could tell, instinctively, what was coming, and the scariest part was that she didn't know whether she wanted it to happen or not. He was moving closer, she could smell him, could reach out and touch a hand to his face if she wanted. The other arm came around, fully pinning her in place. Just a little closer and-

At the last second Saera averted her head and his lips grazed her cheek. She let out the breath she didn't even know she was holding as he stood there for a brief second. As Glynn drew back she could feel the disappointment just emanating from him. Well, she'd practically invited him to kiss her, then backed out an instant too early.

"I'm sorry." She had to look down again to avoid seeing what would probably make her wish she'd gone through with the kiss. "I just...can't."

"It's OK." There was a hesitation. "Skywalker?"

"Yeah." She felt almost ashamed of loving Luke.

"Don't worry." he cupped her face up and forced her to look at him. "We're kinda drunk, remember?" He smiled weakly.

"Yeah, we are, I guess." She let out a chuckle that sounded fake even to her. "I'm going to go to bed now. Goodnight. Oh, wake me half a time-part early if I'm not already up, 'K?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." She slipped inside the door, shaking.

What  _was_ that back there? Saera berated herself for letting it get that far, glad her senses had finally kicked in.

Or had they? What she'd felt back there, with Glynn, that had felt so good, so right. She'd felt like a completely different person. If she was telling the truth, well, Luke had certainly never made her feel like  _that_. But then, she told herself, she'd never gotten  _any_ where with Luke. Maybe it was one of those things that happened every time you were near a good-looking guy, like stuttering. Yes, that was it. Like stuttering.

Then why couldn't she sleep for thinking about the softness of Glynn's lips, and how she should have never felt that softness?

It had to be her recent emotional turmoil, what with losing Luke, leaving home, regaining Luke, etcetera. She was just a mess of emotions right now.

And Glynn was probably right, too. Having no previous experiences to compare to, she decided that she was at least a little bit drunk.

Glynn felt like a total idiot. He should have known, he should have known! Here he'd been wearing his attraction on his sleeve, and she'd been pining after  _Skywalker_! Gods, he was a moron.

He decided he officially hated Skywalker. How was he going to live with this woman for months, in seclusion, in space, when he'd just put on a show like that? It was all Skywalker's fault. She must've thought he was such a loser...

Gods, why couldn't he stop thinking about her? Why did she have to be so fierce and vibrant and gorgeous and naïve, all rolled into one package? The rest he could deal with, but the innocence and vulnerability, and his strange urge to protect her, were what made her so...so...

He tossed in his bed in frustration. He couldn't even pin down what was so appealing about her, let alone how he might feel about her. He felt like...like...well, like he'd wanted more than a peck on the cheek, that was for sure! He wanted to feel her lips, to know she felt the same attraction he did.

Fat chance. She didn't feel it. Maybe she wanted him as a pilot, but not as anything else. She didn't think of him like  _that_ , tonight probably just creeped her out more than anything.

The worst part was that he'd actually lied about what he felt; if there was one thing Glynn was sure of, it was that half a tiny bottle of weak Bith wine could  _not_  make him drunk.


	8. Chapter Eight

Saera woke, she thought, rather early, considering. A little hangover headache (she supposed), but not that bad at all. She donned one ofher new conservative "travel"outfits and exited the room. Might as well face Glynn and get the initial awkwardness over with.

Just before she entered the kitchen she heard a bang and string of curses she'd never even known had existed. Opening the door she saw Glynn gripping his hand and holding it under a stream of water from the sink. There was a frying pan on the floor.

"Are you OK?" It was obvious he wasn't.

"Just a-" he winced "-burn.I was just reheating some more nerf, for breakfast...I would think I'd be used to burns by now, what with fixing the  _Gaellia_  all the time..." he muttered some new curses. "Sorry," he apologized when he saw Saera's shock. "Don't blame me, blame my mouth." He winced again. "Could you grab the first aid kit? I think it's in that cupboard." He gestured with his foot. Seara grabbed the kit and looked for the information on burns, showing it to Glynn.

"Read it to me."

"Run affected area under cold water for at least two minutes."

"Done." He pulled his hand out of the stream of water.

"Next, take the ointment..." they sat down at the table and she assisted him in treating the burn.

"Sorry about that. I've done this before, it's just that every kit is different." Glynn tried flexing his hand. "Well, it's only on the side of my left hand. I've had much worse. I can probably get enough use by the end of the day or something to pilot-"

"No way! You know that's ridiculous! You're not going anywhere  _near_  that ship! I'll just get us another room and we'll spend another night on Bothawui. Don't move."

"My ship!"

"I'll call the authorities and ask them to hold it a little longer. I'll pay for it."

"But-"

"Quiet!" She got up and searched for the planetary comm frequency book.

"Beaten." He sighed. "Make sure to get a cheap place!" He yelled after her.

"This place is a dump!" Saera whispered through a fake smile as she and Glynn entered their new hotel, the Bothawui Middle Inn-come.  _More like the Bothawui NO Inn-come!_

"Yeah, but it's cheap!" Glynn whispered back.

They checked in and were escorted to their room by a very eager owner who obviously hadn't seen that many customers for a while.

"It's a wonder this place is still open!" she whispered again, glancing at the cockroach droppings hastily swept into a corner.

"Be nice," he warned.

When the hotel owner left, certain there was nothing more his guests required, Saera opened the door to the room. "This is terrible!" she remarked, dropping the bags she'd been carrying. There was one queen bed, one armchair, and one bedside table with odds and ends on it, including and planetary comm. And one door. Saera opened it and saw a tiny bedroom with about half the space in the shower that someone would really need.

"There's no other bed! I asked specifically, 'are there two beds?' and he said yes!"

"Hm. He must have meant 'room for two people.' As in two people could sleep here..." Glynn dragged off, looking at the bed. "I'll take the floor."

"No, you-"

"Yes. I'll take the floor."

"But-"

"Just let me have the godsdamned floor, will you?" he raised his voice. He felt stupid, and was sorry for his temper, but couldn't think of what to say. "I-"

"Well, fine, take the floor if you want it so badly! But when you wake up with acrick in your neck tomorrow morning, remember that I offered you the bed, and you refused." She was glaring at him.

"Fine. I'm going to sleep." He grabbed a pillow off the bed and plopped down in the corner of the room. "Good night."

"Goodnight."

Glynn closed his eyes and a second later something soft and immense hit his head. Untangling himself from the quilt and muttering about how difficult women could be, he heard a giggle from the bathroom.

It was slightly unnerving for Saera, sleeping in the same room as a man she wasn't related to. Most awkwardness had been avoided, though, by the fact that he appeared to be asleep by the time she emerged from the bathroom.  _Don't even call it a bathroom. It's more like a_  sink _-room or something._

In any case, all that could be seen of Glynn was a lump under a quilt and a shock of auburn hair. Which, needless to say, mare her feel whole lot better about wearing pajamas.  _Last thing I need is the pilot perving at me._ She immediately reprimanded herself, first for calling him "the pilot" and next for thinking that Glynn would try anything like that. Well, he hadn't gotten paid yet!

_Oh, quit acting like a paranoid baby and go to sleep!_

Surprisingly, Saera woke up early enough to miss being seen in her pajamas. She was dressed by six and a half time parts, and Glynn still showed no sign of waking. She'd always slept far longer than him on the ship, so she had no clue when he usually rose.  _Two and a half weeks, and I still know next to nothing about this guy. And we almost kissed..._  She made a mental note to learn more about the man who was helping her track down her true love.

He finally lifted his head at around eight time parts. Saera was so completely bored that she was just happy to see movement that she had not directly caused.

"Are you finally awake? Or do you need more beauty sleep?"

"Well, since you asked-" Glynn turned his head to look at her. "-I could use another time part or so." The eyes laughed at her, much like when they'd first met.

"Oh, no you don't. I have been bored out of my mind for almost one and a half time parts now, and I can _not_  sit around for another one!"

Giving in, he rose and straightened out, flexing his hand, which was doing a lot better, and moving his joints around. "Ugh, you were right about the crick in the neck." He looked over at the clock. "Huh. That's the latest I've slept in about three years."

"Don't you ever take a day off?" she asked, incredulous.

"How can you when your office is the same place you sleep in?"

"Oh."

They hung around the room for about half a time part before gathering up Saera's bags again and exiting. The hotel owner bombarded them with free soap bars and business cards and such, with the inn logo on them, exclaiming, "Give them to your friends! Give them to your friends!"

"Uh, thanks. We'll tell  _every_ one about this...fine establishment." Glynn grinned over at Saera.

"Yeah, it was so...so...obvious how muchcare you take in keeping a hospitable environment." She smiled dazzlingly at the owner.

"Thank you, thank you, I try." He finally opened the door and let them out. "Come again soon!" As soon as the door closed they both burst into laughter.

"Hospitable environment?"

"Well, you started it! Ugh, where can we dump this crap, the soap smells like felinx waste!"

They shoved the free samples in a nearby trash receptacle and headed to the dock where they'd left the  _Gaellia_  more than 48 time parts ago. Even though she'd only lived there for a couple of weeks it already felt to Saera like a homecoming, like she'd been on a quick vacation and was being greeted by familiar sights.

"Ah, well, Bothawui was nice, but I sure love bein' back on my own ship," said Glynn, voicing her thoughts exactly. Once he'd plotted a course for Transaddinn III, where the rebel had said the new base was, Glynn and Saera seemed to be stuck. Saera couldn't think of anything to say and, as they really talked about the events of two nights ago. As she thought about it she realized how mush she dreaded discussing the almost-kiss. Discussing  _feelings_  was just something she'd never done, and she was afraid she'd embarrass herself. She'd just have to dance around him until he brought the subject up.

Glynn was feeling the same dread, although for different reasons. Now that he knew the nature of her relationship with Skywalker he couldn't very well tell her the truth. That he hadn't been hitting on her because he was drunk. That he felt this strange sensation in his gut when she smiled at him, or even when she smiled at all...

Gods, he had it bad. He had to pull himself out of the pit before he dug it too deep.


	9. Chapter Nine

_"Luke! Luke!" Saera ran towards him, **the**  dress flowing back as she moved across the landing platform. She jumped into his arms and they laughed together as he held her and stroked her hair._

_"I've missed you so much, and everyone thought you were dead, but you're here! I've found you!"_

_They kissed, pure bliss, and wrapped their arms even tighter around each other. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw not Luke's dreamy bright blue but Glynn's darker hue, laughing like they did so much. She looked and saw that it was Glynn's face brushing hers, his arms holding her to him._

_"What?"_

_There was a loud buzz, and Glynn opened his mouth to speak-_

"Transaddinn III ETA in half a time part." Glynn's voice cut into her dreams sharply from the inter ship comm. Jumping to answer, startled by her dream and then the sudden tearing away from it, Saera quickly replied.

"Um, uh, OK. Thanks." She flopped onto her bed. What a weird dream. She hadn't dreamed for, oh, a month and a half, not since just after she'd met Glynn. That, she remembered, was when she'd still thought Luke was dead...

Come to think of it, neither of those dreams was very positive towards her relationship with Luke. Maybe something in her subconscious was trying to tell her something.

Or it was a coincidence. She shoved those thoughts out of her mind, instead choosing to dwell on the anticipation of seeing more people. In the past near-month it had taken to reach Transaddinn III (it was on the other side of the galaxy, and the  _Gaellia_  was really ploddy, to be honest) Glynn and Saera had been unable to breach the subject of that night on Bothawui. They'd mostly avoided each other in the beginning, which was a shame since she did enjoy his company. But it was a small ship, so that didn't last for very long and they saw each other all the time anyway. They talked of anything but that night, and still it hung over her thoughts every now and then. As for Glynn, she couldn't say. He had a naturally cheery disposition, despite his awful childhood that she was slowly learning more about, but he did seem to be holding something in, something that wanted to be out in the open.

Force. Here she was, thinking about Glynn, even when she was meant to be preparing to come in contact with Luke again. Well, people who would tell her where to find Luke.

"Don't get your hopes up," Glynn had said. "These places are generally just underground recruiting facilities, not actually the main military base where your boy's gonna be."

"He's not 'my boy,'" she'd stuck in quickly, embarrassed.

"Whatever." Glynn had shrugged.

Why did she feel so oddly about Luke when Glynn was around? And  _why_  couldn't she stop thinking about the captain of the  _Gaellia_?

_Because he's the only person you've seen for the last three and a half weeks that wasn't in a Holovid._

Saera glanced at the wall chrono and saw that ETA was now only 20 minutes.

_Get ready._

Glynn was right about the rebel 'base' on Transaddinn III. Just a recruitment office disguised as a bank, it was practically a dead end. He and Saera would both have to go through a lot of 'training' and background checks and physicals before they'd be allowed to gain permission to fly with the rebel fleet, let alone the coordinates to the new base.

"I just don't get it. They should be welcoming us with open arms, and yet they're basically turning us away," Glynn sighed.

"How do they ever manage to recruit  _anyone_?" Saera remarked as the exited the hidden facilities after hours of pleading and sorrowful story telling to no avail. The leaders here, unlike the slummer Glynn had swayed on Bothawui, were not going to be taken in by fast-talking offworlders. Either they went through the entire process or nothing. Or, they could hang around until the rebels were convinced they were Imps and sent some soldiers to take them off to one of their strongholds. And that didn't sound very promising.

"Well, what you have to remember is that we're trying to get into the fleet and ultimately the military base. 'Rebels' out here usually just sit on random worlds, steal supplies, and wait for news of real Rebel activity. Oh, and occasionally they'll really try to wipe out the Imp government on their planet and end blowing themselves and a lot of innocent people up. They don't bother with that too often.

"You make it sound so...unimportant. Useless."

"Well, in a way, some of it is."

"Wait, what about Luke? He'd have to go through the checks and everything, wouldn't he? So he'd still be in one of these recruitment camps, and we just have to find the right one."

Glynn sighed. "Saera, do you watch the Holonet at  _all_? Because really, feel free, that's what it's there for. Luke Skywalker is wanted for treachery against the Empire, destruction of Imperial property, and aid in escape of a Rebellion leader. He rescued a princess, one that the rebels like very much, apparently."

"Princess?" Saera felt a twinge of jealousy, which she immediately felt stupid for.

"One Leia Organa of Alderaan, or former Alderaan, I guess. They're blaming her for the destruction of Alderaan, but everyone with a brain knows better. Man, is she a piece of work."

He grinned irritatingly over at her. Saera gave him a withering look, mostly because she knew it was true. Saera had seen holos of the Alderaanian royal family when they'd studied the core worlds in school. Leia Organa was very striking, even as the 15-year-old in the holo.

"Let's get back to your ship so we can figure out what to do next."

"Ooh, 'my' ship, no 'the' ship. Touchy, are we?" he mocked, grinning.

"No, but I will be if you don't shut up."

"Ok, ok, moving." Glynn started trudging through the calf-deep Transaddinn mud in the direction of the ship, Saera close behind. But even back in the confines of the  _Gaellia_  they couldn't figure out a plan of action concerning the rebels' base.

"Why don't you send in some fan mail and ask him to get you clearance?" Glynn suggested, smirking, as they brainstormed in the rec/dining room.

"If you're not going to be any help, you can just leave," Saera said from her position on an armchair, bent backwards with her face to the ceiling and her eyes closed. "And I don't care that it's you ship."

"I can see it: _Dear Lukie, I love you! Tell me where the base is, please, so I can come visit you? Thank you sooooo much for blowing up the Death Star, that was so cool! Love from your biggest fan, Saera._ " He stood up, mimicking in a girly voice.

"Sit down and stop being a childish jerk." Saera said indifferently.

"Yes, mother." he plopped into a chair, "But I'm the captain of this ship, remember?"

"Yes, but I'm the one who's paying, remember?" He chuckled.

"Actually, I'm surprised you didn't jump down my throat for that one."

"Not enough mental energy. Too drained from thinking. I'll kill you tomorrow. And believe me, you deserve it."

"Thanks, but that's one honor I'll pass on."

"Whatever. Sleep now." She slowly got up and shuffled to the guest room, dragging her feet.

"Goodnight," Glynn called, chuckling again.

After a while day of lying in the same chairs in the rec/dining room, saying the same stuff, exchanging the same irritating banter, and coming up with the same conclusion that all their plans blew, Glynn and Saera finally thought of an idea that maybe didn't blow  _as_  much as the other ones.

"It's the only way. I have to buy a ship and become a member of the Alliance. They need all the ships they can get, so sooner or later they'll have to give me an assignment to the base or something."

"Saera, we both know it's crazy. You can't pilot a ship!"

"You can teach me."

Glynn sighed. "It's not that simple. Look, why are you so intent on finding the Skywalker kid anyway?"

"Why do you call him that? You don't even know him and you're calling him 'Skywalker kid' like he's nine or something! It's not 'funny,' either. Luke acts more mature than you a lot of the time, and he's only a year older than me!"

"Well, why are you so intent on finding him. I mean, if he cared about you that much, he'd have told you where he was!" Glynn knew he had cut with that remark from the hurt on her face. She'd obviously been worrying about that herself. "Look, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"No, you're right," she replied icily. "He hasn't tried to talk to me. If it weren't for you and the Holonet 'awards for capture' I wouldn't even know he was still alive." She strode out of the room to the guest quarters and was locked the door, crumpling in a corner. Glynn was right. Luke didn't care about her. He'd never cared about her. This whole trip was a stupid idea. She should've just gone to Coruscant.

_But is that what you really want? To go and live on a planet with more people than you're ever seen and yet you know none of them?_

No. She still had to find Luke. She had to tell him, tell him everything. She'd never be able to rest until she found out whether or not he cared. Maybe...maybe...

That was it! Luke was trying to protect her! He didn't want her to become wrapped up in this terrible war. That must be it!

But somewhere inside, she knew it felt wrong.

Saera spent a whole day locked in the guest quarters, mulling things over. Glynn tried to reason with her through the door in the first few time parts, but she wouldn't have any of it. He could have opened the door from the main controls in the bridge, but thought better of it. Let her have her privacy. He settled for pushing her meals through the air vent connecting her room and the supply closet.

Glynn spent a lot of the time that Saera was in her room on Trasaddinn III's muddy surface, in the cantinas and bars, listening to idle gossip. Transaddin III was by no means a highly populous world, so news got around quickly of newcomers. Most people were curious, not knowing about the secret rebel camp or any other reasons the humans might be here. Most left quickly or settled down on this world, and the stranger and his woman appeared to be doing neither.

About a time part before he was going back to the ship, a native in the bar approached Glynn. Transaddinnians were almost tadpole-like, probably from all the swamps and mud pits scattered across the planet's surface. Black, smooth, hairless skin was spotted with orange and yellow. Transaddinnians produced a poison in glands on their necks, useless on most humanoids but very effective against the predators that had once hunted the species. They had big red, glowing eyes on the sides of their heads and a large flat snout with a long mouth full of tiny, sharp teeth.

The Transaddinnian grunted at Glynn as it sat down across from him in the booth. "I have a message for you."

"Oh really? And who might this message be from?" Glynn dropped his hand below the table casually, feeling down his holster for the butt of his blaster.

"Please keep your hands above the table. I assure you I mean no harm, I am merely here to give you some advice. I come unarmed." The native held his hands out to show that he posed no threat. Glynn obliged with his request.

"What kind of...advice are you talking about?" The Transaddinnian leaned in and lowered his voice.

"Advice about the rebels."

Glynn looked at him, surprised at the native's knowledge of such things. "Go on," he said cautiously.

"My...er, employer is very sympathetic and apologizes for not being able to reveal base coordinates to you. He also had trouble acquiring the location of the last base, and by the time he did, it was too late."

Glynn had no clue what was going on, but he put on a sabacc face and continued with the conversation. "And...?"

"The Rebels are getting suspicious of our friend. That is why he had to turn you away, and why sending me to speak was necessary. He decided that your dispatch is the best chance he has to inform the Empire of the situation. He's been waiting for you for quite some time."

Suddenly it all clicked. They thought he was an Imperial spy! They wanted him to deliver a message to the Empire. He must have said something to someone...

"Well, what is it?" He decided to play along. This could be what he needed to feed the rebels for the base location.

"As well as this camp, Mr. Jorris has discovered the location of another like it."

"You're not a very good messenger, dropping you employer's name around like that in such a public place." Glynn glared at the native. Inwardly, he grinned with glee, having seen an office labeled 'Trane Jorris' in the 'bank.'

"Apologies. Though it is doubtful that anyone could hear us above the racket in here. But, the camp is located on-" the Transaddinnian's eyes darted around the room and he leaned closer "-Parsnil."

"Ah, yes." Glynn stroked his chin. "We've suspected activity on Parsnil for some time."

"The employer suggests you break in and complete your mission there. It is too risky with your face already on the security discs to do it here. He also asks you inform the superiors of the change of plans."

"Affirmative. Thank you for your services to the Empire. You shall be rewarded for your loyalty."  _Riiiight..._

"Thank you." The Transaddinnian got up. "Oh, and one more thing. Dispose of the girl. The employer is confused as to her presence and feels she could be a liability." Glynn felt his blood run cold.

"Understood."

"Saera?" Glynn banged on the door of the guest room.

"Gods, Glynn. Take a hint and go away!" came through the door, muffled.

"I think you're gonna want to hear this though. I've gotten a big breakthrough in our problem."

"Yeah, like what? I really should write him fan mail?" Even after being stuck in her room for a whole day she was obviously still determined to be angry.

"No, no, I talked to someone on the surface. They gave information about something on Parsnil. It sounds very promising, but I'm not going to yell it through a door all day."  _Patience. Patience is a virtue..._  Sure enough, Saera unlocked the door and he dashed in before she changed her mind.

"I swear, it sounds authentic." he quickly blurted out the story while it was still fresh in his mind, omitting his orders to kill her, not wanting to upset her further.

"I don't know, it seems a little suspicious," Saera said, sitting on the bunk, when he'd told her everything. "I mean, isn't it an awful coincidence that they're waiting for this spy, then you say something to the right person and they assume it's you?"

"Yeah, I'll admit it's kinda convenient. But who would want to set a trap for  _us_? This is the perfect opportunity to gain sympathy on Parsnil, by telling them about Jorris. We'll tell them...we'll say you're pregnant with Skywalker's child! That'll be why you need to know where he is."

"Ok." Saera blushed.

"Then it's settled. Parsnil." He began to exit, then turned. "Look, Saera, I really am sorry about that I thing I said, you know? It was pretty low..."

"Yeah, I know, she replied quietly. "I guess I'm just a big baby for shutting myself up for so long..."

"Well, uh, sorry." He walked away.


	10. Chapter Ten

The trip to Parsnil only took about as long as Tatooine to Bothawui had, two weeks. Saera and Glynn took the time to work on their story for the rebels. It became apparent that luck would need to be on their side no matter what angle they took.

"I'll have to make sure they don't tell Luke that I'm, er, pregnant. Well, because we, uh..." Saera drifted off, unable to explain her concern anymore. It was four days to Parsnil and she hadn't wanted to bring the topic up, but needed Glynn's help.

"Oh, you guys never slept together. Sure. So tell them you wanted to explain it to him personally. I'm sure they'll understand."

"Right." She stared down at her feet. A smile played gently across his lips, though he didn't let her see. He didn't know why, but he found it slightly amusing that she couldn't bring herself to talk about this topic with him.

"Well, I think the most credible situation would be if I were your concerned brother, helping you on your quest. I'll be pretend Skywalker and I hate each others' guts, so I can get 'em not to tell him about your 'brother.'"  _It wouldn't be too far a stretch of the truth..._ "Let's see, what do I have..." he pulled out a storage compartment from the closet in the rec/dining room they were in and started rummaging around. After much shuffling through containers and bottles, he managed to find what he needed. "OK, I'll dye my hair black, and I have some of those wierd color-changing eye drops, so we can look a little alike."

"You're going to try to look like me? I've got to see this!" Saera grinned.

"Not until we get to Parsnil. Besides, you have to look pregnant, which will be funny enough on it's own. Grab me a sweater, baggy-ish, non-see-through."

"Geez, ordering me around!" she joked, disappearing into the guest quarters and emerging a few minutes later. Glynn took the shirt with the aid of some heavy-duty tape from the supply closet.

"Put it on." She came out of the room a few minutes later looking just pregnant enough to be pushing five months.

"Behold the wonder of tape!"

"Heh, I do sort of look like a Dewback." She looked down at her stomach.

"Oh, but a very pretty Dewback."

"Dewbacks aren't pretty, silly." She turned slightly pink and pulled off the shirt, which she had thrown over her regular clothes. Pausing for a second before deciding what to do, she ended up sitting next to him on a long chair, looking up at the top of his head.

"I can't believe you're going to have to dye your hair." It was a pity, actually, as it was such gorgeous hair, auburn, alive with highlights. It looked full and thick. Without really thinking about it, she ran the tips of her fingers through the tufts above his left ear. He wasn't looking at her, he was looking straight ahead. Curious, she repeated the motion, but slower, and tracing down the back of his neck. He sharp intake of breath told her she shouldn't have.

"Saera..." his deep navy blue eyes turned to meet hers, and she was even more caught than she had been on Bothawui. His eyes were full of...everything, except the laughter that usually occupied them. A mixture of impatience, frustration, depth, and...what? Desire? Whatever it was, it worried her, because it towered over all the other emotions.

He was seeing mostly naïveté and fear in her. He didn't think it was fear of him, exactly, but more like fear at not knowing what was going on.

"Don't be scared." He reached up and cupped her cheek gently. Slowly, in what seemed like an eternity, as he held her quivering gaze, he moved in to kiss her. At first she appeared a little shocked but slowly began to respond to him. She put her arms around his neck and let him pull her in close to his body. She ran her fingers through his hair again, this time more roughly and more completely, causing him to emit a slight involuntary moan and pull her even closer.

Then she shoved him away. All of a sudden, she was pushing him off of her, breaking away.

"What—"

"Just stop." She jumped out of her chair, and he rose to meet her. "I—I—" she broke off and ran out of the room, leaving him there. Alone.

Saera couldn't think. She couldn't sit, she couldn't stand, she couldn't move, she couldn't stop shaking. She couldn't breathe.

She had like kissing Glynn, like it a lot, probably so much that she could have done it all day. In fact, she'd wanted to, desperately wanted to. So why had she stopped?

Luke.

She couldn't get Luke's soft blue eyes out of her head. She'd almost forgotten about him, just minutes before, in Glynn's arms, but now his face was haunting her.

She'd kissed Glynn, a lot, and passionately. Saera had never really kissed anyone before. Technically, she supposed, her first kiss had been at fourteen when she was trying to make Luke jealous, before she'd realized that kind of thing didn't work with him. But Saera didn't really count those kisses, because her heart wasn't really in them, and she hadn't really enjoyed them.

Not like when she'd kissed Glynn. Just thinking about it made her want to go out there and kiss him again, and to crawl into a hole and never come out at the same time. But mostly, she just wanted to slap herself, because she had remembered Luke. Briefly, just as Glynn was coming toward her, her mind had flashed "LUKE!" But a second later their lips had met, and all thoughts of her love were eradicated. She hadn't cared, worse, she'd been eager to have him gone, to enjoy the moment.

She'd acted worse than she had on Bothawui. And this time, there was no wine to blame.


	11. Chapter Eleven

"Hi."

"Hi."

Saera seemed very reluctant to talk to Glynn as she sat stirring the tasteless stuff that was kept in large supply on the  _Gaellia_  due to its cheap price and incredibly simple storage requirements. They hadn't talked since when they'd kissed and he was sitting in the rec/dining room now, watching her eat, hoping to strike up a conversation. His attempts were, he had to admit, rather lame and fruitless.

While he was in the middle of yet another conversation-starter sentence, she suddenly flung down her spoon and turned in her chair to face him.

"Look, we don't have to talk about this, OK. It was just one of those random things that happens. And then you don't know what to do with it, or even why it happened, so it's best to just leave it alone and let it die and then pretend it never happened. I mean, it's not necessary to discuss it, is it?"

"Yes, Saera, it is," he said, as serious as he felt.

"We don't have to discuss every single little thing that happens! We never talked about, oh, Bothawui, and now look at where we are! We've almost tracked down the stupid rebel base. So we don't need to talk about it. Just drop it."

"I'm not going to drop it just because you tell me to. You may think this is all about you, but it's not. Just because you don't want to talk about it doesn't mean I don't want to. I can't pretend it never happened, Saera. There are too many hormones on this stupid crate and not enough space." There, he'd said it. It was the truth, after all. "Stop acting so childish and talk about things for once!"

"Oh, perfect, here we go with 'Oh young Saera, she is so naive' again."

"Well, maybe if you stopped to look at everything that's around you, you would just go with it and quit pining after something you'll never get!" He felt himself heaving from his angry speech, glaring at her. She matched his eye contact.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Anything you want it to, Saera. Anything you want it to." He got up from his chair. "I'm going to go pilot my ship." He strode out, leaving both of them fuming.

"Something I'll never get! Something I'll never get? He doesn't even know what he's talking about. Something I'll never get!" Saera muttered as she paced the floor of her room, irritated, ready to throw large, inanimate objects at the only other person within parsecs. All that was in her reach, however, where the clothes she'd messily left lying all over the floor from last night's search for a "pregnant" sweater.

_That stupid sweater. It's all that stupid sweater's fault. If we hadn't been talking about procreation he probably never would have gotten the idea to..._

She sighed. It was as much her fault as his. More, even, because she hadn't wanted to "talk about it." How could they possibly talk about something like that? It was just too...weird. She had never been good at talking with anyone, and she had never even attempted to talk about "romantic feelings" at all. There was a little gossip with the few girlfriends she had had on Tatooine, but nothing serious at all. And she hadn't really been thinking about this kind of thing when her mother had still been alive, and she would have  _never_  thought of bringing up the subject with her father.

So she had no clue what to do.

_Gods, he's right! I'm too much of a little kid to even know what to do in this situation, let alone be mature enough to actually do it._

Well, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. By gods, she'd talk about it, and she'd do it so well that he'd think she was twice her actual age.

_Wait, is that a good thing? I don't really want to be forty..._

As soon as she heard Glynn enter his room, Saera dashed over and knocked. To her surprise, she didn't have to plead her case through the door, as she probably would have made him do.  _Gods, I_ am _a baby..._

"Yeah?" He looked at her quizzically, obviously doubting her motives as to being there.

"Um, do you have a moment? I mean, I think we should talk."

"Okay." His eyebrows rose slightly in disbelief as he retreated back into his room and sat on his bunk. "Shoot."

_Okay...maybe his quarters aren't the best place to discuss this. But it's better than nothing..._

"Do you mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead." He gestured to a chair.

"Thanks." The place was pretty nice. Very neat, a chair, smaller than her room, which surprised her, seeing as he lived here all the time.

"Well, um, is there anything you wanted to say? Because I still don't know exactly what to talk about, but I'm going to talk about it anyway..."  _I'm not pulling off this 40-year-old thing very well..._

"I just think that we need to acknowledge that we're physically attracted to one another. You don't seem to think there's anything else there, and because you have currently have some sort of relations with someone else, I think we should note it and move on, making sure to be wary of the problem in the future." He was completely deadpan throughout his speech.

 _Problem?_ "Oh. Okay." What was up with him, had he turned into a droid or something? "That's it?"

"Unless you want to say anything else."

"No, no, it's just, that was very...straightforward."

"Would you rather I'd danced around the subject for ten or fifteen minutes?"

"Well, no..."

"Then there's nothing left to discuss. You know the way out." He paused. "Unless you've had a lapse of memory?"

She gave him a withering look. What on earth was going on?

"No, I have not had a 'lapse of memory.' Have you? You don't seem to remember who you are, AKA a human being."

"If you're referring to my lack of emotion in this issue, I've decided not to invest further feelings in the matter." He was lifeless and dead. She couldn't take it anymore, mostly because he had no feeling in his normally laughing navy eyes, and yet she could sense that he was smirking at her from behind them. It infuriated her.

She slapped him, fairly hard, across his cheek. His neck snapped to the side and he brought a hand up to touch his jaw.

"Ow."

She stared at him, watched his fingers massaging his jaw, with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open. What had she just done?

"Glynn, I am so—"

"Relax. It's okay." He seemed almost as surprised. At least he had some life back in him.

"You did need it, though. I couldn't stand you like that."

"Thanks, I guess." He managed a grin. She figured this was her cue.

"I'm going now." She left.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Glynn moved his fingers down his jaw, opening and closing his mouth. Well, she hadn't hit him that hard, just in a bad place, and now his jaw was shorting out a little. Should heal quickly.

But what was up with that? All of a sudden, a physically abusive Saera? Not that he was complaining. He rather liked this assertive girl. She was...sexy.

_Sexy? Oh, you perverted old man._

He must be going crazy. What in the stars was wrong with him? Who cared? There was no way he was going to be able to stop thinking about her now, now that she'd shown this side of her that was able to stand up for herself, a side that wasn't afraid to get stuck into things. It was a big change from the shy yet temperamental girl.

 _At least we're on speaking terms again. But what the heck was she thinking?_ Obviously, that he needed some sense knocked into him.  _Little hypocrite,_  he though, amused.  _She tells me it was a random, impersonal anomaly, and then gets annoyed when I act impersonal! What was she doing in here anyway? Taking things into her own hands more than usual. Maybe I finally got through to her..._

Eh. It was all so messed up. He knew one thing for certain: he didn't know Saera half as well as he'd thought.

 _Who_ am _I?_

Saera wasn't even sure anymore. The girl who'd slapped Glynn with hardly any provocation was certainly not her. It couldn't be! Saera would have stared at her feet and blushed when he started on all that 'physical attraction' stuff. Heck, Saera, wouldn't have even attempted to talk to him.

_WHO AM I?_

Not the girl from Tatooine, that was certain. And not the girl on Bothawui. She wasn't even sure she was the girl she'd been a day earlier. Somehow, this whole Glynn thing had affected her far more than she'd realized.

_Go away! I don't want to think about you! I'm going to think about Luke. And how much I love him. And how we're going to find each other, no matter how hard the galaxy tries to pull us apart. He's going to know that I love him. He is._

_I love him._

It was so strange, how she kept having to remind herself of this. And how, all of a sudden, those eyes that had been haunting her were gone, a new pair replacing them...

Parsnil. Didn't look like much from the cockpit. But then, Glynn was so used to seeing planets that few did impress him. Parsnil was mostly green, a few patches of heavy human existence, and a whole bunch of water. Nothing particularly unusual or special.

Except for the Rebel recruitment center that supposedly had the coordinates to the base, and Saera's apparent true love.

Glynn ran his fingers through his newly-dyed hair, unconsciously taking the path that Saera had a few days before. He hoped this worked. And she appreciated it. Sure, it was sort-term dye, but he'd still had to do the actual dyeing, which was a pain in the neck. He didn't know how all those holovid actresses with platinum locks did it every few months.

_And my eyes._

_That_  had stung big time. He wasn't looking forward to the second application he was sure to need.  _Ugg, they can make a ship go point five past lightspeed, why can't they make painless eye pigments? Hmph. Probably to discourage criminals from changing their appearance._ In his opinion, very little could stop a man from trying to avoid death by stormtrooper execution squad.

"We're at Parsnil. I'm gonna head out." He said into the ship intercom. the plan was for him to find the rebels and then later they would approach them about the base coordinates.

"Wait a sec, I gotta get up there and see your 'disguise!'" He could practically hear the teasing grin in Saera's voice.

"Yeah, yeah, make it quick. I got things to do."

She was there less than a minute later and obviously ready with a barrage of teasing jokes.

"You look so weird, you have no idea!" was all that came out of her mouth, however.

"What, better weird or worse weird?"

"Just...weird weird!"

"Yes, well, while we're having this delightful conversation, there's probably a port official ready to drag us off to an Imperial garbage masher. So, alas, I must be leaving." He grinned. "Bye."

"Yeah, yeah, get going." She smiled back.

Once on the surface, Glynn paid the docking fee and made his way to a cantina, hoping to rustle up some information. The rebels on Parsnil were either more elusive or just more wary than the ones on Bothawui and Transaddinn III, however, and Glynn couldn't find a hint of where this recruitment base might be with his general questions. It was only after he mentioned actually joining the Rebellion that he got some responses. After some gentle persuasion and a lot of effort, Glynn was able to gain the location of the small recruitment base on Parsnil.

 _These guys must be really desperate._  Even with all the time and energy expended, he knew he was still incredibly lucky to have gotten that information.  _Gods help them if an Imp ever gets hold of one of these guys. Under a probe droid they'd probably crack in two seconds. It's a wonder the Rebel Alliance hasn't already been crushed, with just dumb luck letting someone locate_ two _hidden bases..._

Unless it wasn't dumb luck. Sure, maybe he was extremely lucky.  _Or maybe what Mum said was true..._ He thought back, years ago, when he was ten, and his mother had first told him...

No. He didn't need to get caught up in myths and legends. He had other things to focus on now. His mother had just bee trying to explain things. It was just a story. An old story.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

"So where is this place, again?" Saera and Glynn were in a landspeeder taxi, on their way to the hidden Rebel recruitment base. They were in costume and ready to play their parts.

"It's on the other side of the town." He lowered his voice so the driver wouldn't hear. "Disguised under a library archive, apparently. And will you stop bringing it up in front this guy?"

"Fine, fine." She ran through the list of directions in her head.  _Move slower than usual. Act distressed and naïve. Hmph, that shouldn't be too hard. Let Glynn take care of you and act sisterly towards him. Act like you depend on him._

The speeder stopped and the driver was paid. Just before they got out Glynn leaned across the seat and gave her a peck on the lips. "For good luck," he whispered.

"I'm sure." She fake-glared at him, slightly thrown off.

"Stop acting so giddy and start being scared, little sister," he half-teased, half shot back.

"Yes, brother dearest."

The archives building was enormous, despite everything being stored on computer ships and discs.  _That should be someone's first clue that all isn't as it seems._

The library was beautiful, exquisite carvings adorning the stone of the building. It was certainly at least five hundred standard years old. There was nothing like this on Tatooine, at least nothing Saera had seen. She supposed something underground might last five hundred SYs, but then, people weren't enjoying it, so it might as well not even exist.

As she stared around in awe she felt Glynn elbow her and remembered to play her part, gazing down at the ground and clinging on to his arm like a poor, helpless soul.

Glynn spoke to the librarian, saying a bunch of stuff that, really, didn't make any sense, so she didn't even try to follow it. Eying both of them suspiciously, the librarian led them to a small room in a restricted area. She left, and Glynn reached in to an old tablet box, pulling out one titled Rancor Legends.

 _My gosh, that tablet must be..._ she couldn't even contemplate something being that old, if it was authentic.

Glynn pressed a few letters scattered throughout the first paragraph and pressed the tablet onto a wall. A door opened where a second ago there hadn't been one. They walked down a long, sloped corridor and were scanned for electronic bugs before being led to a waiting room by and old woman.  _These guys are pretty paranoid..._

"Now, just sit here, dears, and he'll be with you soon." Saera almost asked Glynn who 'he' was before remembering to stay in character. The old lady was still sitting behind a desk in the room, and who knew what kind of surveillance they might have. The woman murmured something into a commlink and came over to them. "You can go in." She smiled sweetly, mostly at Saera.

"Thank you," she murmured as Glynn helped her up again.

It turned out 'he' was a middle-aged man in an office painted steel gray with all metallic colored, sparse furniture. "He' was very general-looking, brown hair, brown eyes, normal-sized nose, no way to tell him from the other five guys that you saw that looked like him on your way to work.  _In other words, someone the Empire would have a hard time finding._

"I know why you are here, you know why you are here. So let's just talk specifics." He had a Core accent, but a generic one. "What I would like to know is why you've risked the life of your child by coming here today." He looked down at her narrowly.

"Sir, this isn't like it seems-"

"I asked the lady."

Great. Glynn had told her not to say anything.

"Well, sir," she tried to act timid. "Well, the baby's father, he...joined the Alliance, without knowing I was pregnant. And my brother and I can't really take care of a baby, we haven't got that kind of money. All we have is a ship, but if we sell that we've got nowhere to stay, and...and..." she managed to sniffle. "I don't want to be a burden to him. I won't ask for much money, only if he can spare it. But he needs to know. He needs to know he's going to have a child!" She started sobbing, working herself up enough that she could shed tears. Glynn hugged her in a brotherly way and whispered that it would be all right.

"Miss?" She didn't think she was imagining that 'he' seemed a bit more sympathetic towards her. "Would you like to wait outside while your brother and I discuss further matters?"

She nodded, thinking Glynn should handle things from here, and 'he' called back the old woman, who escorted Saera back to the waiting room.

"When are you due?" the woman asked kindly.

"Oh, not for a while, but I think it's going to be a big baby."

"Well, how far along are you?"

"Um, maybe five months?" she said, doing quick math to make sure it was credible.

"You don't know for sure? Hasn't your doctor told you?"

"I, uh, don't do doctors..."

"Oh, dear, you simply must see a doctor when you're pregnant! Here." She held out a credit ship. "Take this and go see one."

"No, I can't-"

"Yes, you can. You can't afford to risk your or the baby's health. Make sure you eat right, too. Oh, so young," she clucked to herself, walking away.

Saera's eyes began to mist with tears as she watched the old woman walk back to her desk. Why was she being so kind, motherly even, to Saera, a complete stranger? She was making this all too hard.  _How can I deceive these people, they're good people. What if this woman is poor, this is her weekly income or something. This is so wrong. How could I hurt these people, just for a guy who couldn't even be bothered telling me he was leaving the_ planet

Suddenly, she was seeing everything she had done in the past few months in a new light.

"Look what he's done to her! Can you believe that! She's nineteen. Nineteen! She's been disgraced! I...I'm sorry, it's just that this has been very hard for us to deal with. He shouldn't have left so abruptly!"

"Mr. Mernoai, please, I've already decided that perhaps this case needs some special attention-"

"The kid can't grow up not knowing its father. There are too many children just floating around without any links to anyone." Ouch. He'd just described himself.

"Yes, I am aware of all the complications involved in this issue. But what I would like to know is the identity of the father. Perhaps we can locate him."

"Oh, he'll definitely be somewhere important. Father's name is Luke Skywalker." The rebel looked rather incredulous. "If you don't believe me, let her send him a message. He'll verify growing up on Tatooine with her."

" _We'll_  send the message, telling him we have a brother and pregnant sister requesting his whereabouts."

"She won't go for that. She's got this crazy idea that she wants to tell him herself, in person."

"How convenient. Still, if he recognizes her, I suppose we might be able to arrange something..."

"Thank you. She'll be so relieved. I can't tell you what this will mean to her. It'll give her such a peace of mind." He got up to leave. "Oh, and we're sorry about having to trick you to get in here. She's just so scared and she wants to see him again. I don't know why, but then he and I don't really care for each. Which reminds me, best not mention me, either." The rebel shot an eyebrow up. "I...gave him a black eye coupla months ago. When I found out this thing was going on." The rebel chose to respond with nothing more than a slightly higher eyebrow.

"When you have recorded what you want, lock it with three questions only he would know. Do not mention the Empire, the Rebellion, or this planet. Actually, it's probably better you don't mention the child. The Empire wants him enough to try to use that against him. Bring the message to the Parsnil Dancer Cantina tomorrow at seven time parts and ask the bartender for an Alderaanian Ale and water. When you've drunk the water, slip the holo underneath the Ale glass and leave the credits in the water glass. We'll take care of the rest, and if you've been cleared a maintenance droid will come to your ship in about three days. Say to it 'Coruscant's angels are dying in battle' and it will download the coordinates of Skywalker's location on to your navigation system in such a way that as soon as you activate the hyperdrive, it will take you straight to the coordinates. Don't bother trying to crack the encryption codes; you won't know where you're going until you get there. So you'd better not talk to the droid unless you're absolutely certain you want to leave. But then, you wouldn't be here otherwise."

"No, Sir. And thank you. This is very kind of you. I know how risky this operation will be."

"As much for you as for us." The rebel sat there, still.

"Well, as long as there isn't any outside interference, you can count on us to keep it from the Empire." There didn't seem to be anything left to say, so Glynn left the room, picked up a rather teary-eyed Saera, and was escorted back up to the library.

They caught a speeder back to the dock and he noticed that she was very silent for the whole trip. And then, when they got into the ship, she completely broke down.

"I can't do it! Gods, Glynn, I can't do it! They're too good! I can't do it!"

"Shh, shh, it's OK." He gathered her in his arms and felt her shaking terribly. "What's wrong? What can't you do?"

"I can't lie to them. They're nice people, they're doing something good, they're working so hard! And if we were Imperials, they'd be dead by now! It's just not right to do this. It can't be. Glynn, she gave me money, to see a doctor for my so-called baby. I had enough money to build four of that library, and she gave me money because I had a pillow shoved up my shirt!" She pushed away from him and ripped her 'baby' away. "I...I..."

"Saera." He held her again, feeling warm patches on his chest as she cried. "I don't really know what to say. Except that you're going to have to make a choice, for yourself. You have to decide whether you really want to see Skywalker enough to lie and scheme to get to him. That's the reality of it."

"But if I don't have Luke, I don't have anything more to live for! Don't you see, I can't go back to Tatooine; I can't go back to my father! Luke's all I have left!"

"Hey, I'd still stick around with you." He looked down at her and she lifted her head, not making eye contact.

"Yeah, sure. You have better things to do, places to go. You've got to make your living."

"I mean it," he said seriously. "I'd let you stay with me. In fact, I'd be glad to have you."

She met his eyes. "Glynn, thank you so much. I know I've been nothing but trouble, and you've never been anything but wonderful. Thank you." She smiled, a weak yet perfect smile.

He had to look away. He couldn't bear it, when she was so beautiful and she'd already made it clear she wasn't interested in him. _Stop thinking about her like that. You can never have her that way._

"You-you have three days to make a recording," he said, voice strained. "Now, the deal we have is that you record a message, they send it, and three days later, if he replies positively, we get the coordinates to the base. I need that message by six point five time parts tomorrow, then I'll deliver it and you'll have a few days to make your next move. Will that work?"

"I guess so. Oh, but Glynn, I want to see him so much. I couldn't bear if it got them hurt, though."

"I know, I know. But these are professionals. And we'll be careful." He pushed back the hair that was sticking to her wet cheeks. "OK?"

"OK." She buried her head against his chest again. "Thank you, Glynn. You always make me feel so much better." She gave him a quick squeeze before going off to rustle up a holo. He was left in even more turmoil than before. Why couldn't she make up her mind? It seemed like it was made up, but still he dared to hope. Maybe, just maybe he would somehow be able change her mind so that she could see that if she was willing to give up her fantasy with Skywalker, she could have a reality with him.

_Stop being obsessive. She doesn't feel that way. You can't have her. End of story._


	14. Chapter Fourteen

"Hey, Luke! Hey! It's...uh, me! Like you couldn't see that. But how come you didn't tell us you were leaving? I mean, it was really abrupt. I just...well, we thought you didn't make it. I, uh, I'd really like to see you, soon. Very soon. So just send a message back through this line of communication, I guess. Hope to see you soon."

It didn't sound right. It sounded forced and uncomfortable. Which was how she felt talking to a holochip and pretending it was Luke. She sighed. It was probably the best she was going to get, so she took it up to Glynn and he helped her seal it with a few questions about Luke's life.

"This all reminds me so much of Tatooine. I never in a million years thought I'd miss Tatooine."

"You lived there your whole life, of course you'd miss it. Besides, I don't think you miss the planet as much as you do the people on it."

"I guess. It's just...Tatooine! Possibly the dullest place in the entire galaxy. I can't believe I miss that chunk of rock. I mean, for as long as I can remember I've wanted to run away to somewhere interesting, like Coruscant, or Corellia, and now that I'm out, in space, traveling the galaxy, well...it's just not like I expected, really."

"Fantasies rarely are. Space travel is generally not glamorous, or even fun. It's mostly sitting around and trying to entertain yourself while you remain isolated from the greater part of the galaxy. Especially in a little dinker like this. Wars can be declared, fought, and lost in the time it takes for this bucket to get from Coruscant to anywhere on the Outer Rim."

"Well, you just took the shine off my dream life."

"Yeah, I kind thought so." He paused. "So, anyways, I guess I'll be taking this holo chip to the 'Parsnil Dancer's Cantina' first thing in the morning."

"Right...look, Glynn, I just wanted you to know that I meant what I said earlier, about you being so great to me. Thanks. It's been kind of rough, but I know I wouldn't have made it this far without you. You're...probably the greatest friend I've ever had."

He reacted oddly, at first looking slightly disappointed, but quickly masking it with something like appreciation. "Thanks. And really, you're welcome. I mean, I just do it because I want to. For you."

"Well, I don't know why you put up with me. I mean, I'm paying quite a bit, but I didn't think it was that much."

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ENCYCLOPEDIA PROGRAM TERMINATED.

"Saera, I just delivered the chip. You've gotta make a decision soon."

"I know, I know. I just...it's so hard." She plopped into a chair in the rec room/dining room.

"Well, why exactly do you have this burning desire to see him?"

"I thought it was obvious. I..." she took a deep breath "...love him." It felt so strange to say that to another person. She'd never admitted it to anyone but herself. Except her father, of course, but that was different...

"Well, why so much? I mean, you haven't talked to him for a while. People can fall out of love. He could be out of love with you."

"He was never in love with me OK? I mean, not that I know. Great, now I have to tell you. Here goes...

"I've loved Luke...well, all my life. But I never told him. And then, for some reason, he left. It must have been because of what happened to Beru and Owen. They were his aunt and uncle, his only family in the galaxy, or at least the outer rim. They were killed, the house burned down, by sand people.

"So, he left, and everyone thought he was dead in the fire. I was...destroyed. And my father was insensitive, saying 'they were only poor, silly people' and acting like they didn't matter. I couldn't take it; I had to get away. I was going to live on Coruscant, live my dream life. I got to Mos Eisley, and, well, you know the rest."

He looked kind of surprised. "That's it? That's your 'epic romance' with Luke Skywalker? A schoolgirl obsession? I thought you were engaged to be married or something!"

"You are horrible. I just told you about the single most important person in my life, and, and...you made fun of it! Again! That's exactly what my father did! I hate you!"

"Hey, hey." He moved across the room and pulled her into a hug. She resisted, but not very much. "I'm sorry. I was just kidding."

"It wasn't very funny," she said into his chest.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I said that. I wish I hadn't. It wasn't me."

"Yeah, I know." It was strange how comforted she always felt when he wrapped his arms around her. "But Luke is...special. I just really care about him." She felt him stiffen somewhat.

"Well, I guess that's why you're here, to find him." His words were obviously trying to sound soothing, or even just stating a fact, but here was a hint of something Saera couldn't quite put her finger on. Almost...sadness.

_Why would he care if I love Luke or not? I thought he knew that, it's the only reason I'm here with him. Why would he be sad that I care about him?_

_No way. There's no way that could be true!_

She pulled away from him and he looked at her concerned. But there was so much else in his eyes...

"What..."

"What's wrong?" His eyes were so caring, she felt like she wanted to cry. Instead, she pushed away from him, gasping out a sorry, and fled the room.

He came after her, knocking on her door to ask if she was OK, but left after a few minutes.

_Why in the stars would he feel that way about me? I'm just a little kid! He's said it so many times before. And he's told me that it's all physical! I'm just a piece of eye-candy for him. Oh, I hope it's just my mind, playing tricks on me..._

But somehow, it made her own attraction to Glynn seem a little less evil. And then it seemed a whole lot more. And then she just couldn't tell. It was like someone had gotten a big ladle and swirled her insides around, including her brain. She went to the fresher, held her head above the toilet for a few minutes, and then got a cup of water, which cleared her head a little.

_I'm wrong. I'm completely wrong and I'm misinterpreting the entire situation. It's not like I'm an expert at this type of stuff._

_You could just ask him..._

_No you can't! How would you ever be able to do that?_

_Just ignore it and hope it goes away, then._

_Yes, ignore it. Because it was never there to begin with._

_No, never there..._

_Oh, Gods, help me!_


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_You're overreacting. There's nothing there. He doesn't feel anything more than you do, which is just a physical attraction. If he felt any differently, he'd tell you, wouldn't he? Now stop being a big baby and just go over and talk to him._

Saera took a breath and stepped out of her room, going in to the rec room/dining room. Glynn was sitting in a chair, staring at the holonet screen.

"What are you watching?"

He jumped up. "Saera! Are you OK? What happened?"

"Hey, I asked first."

"Come on, don't play around." He flicked off the screen. "I was really worried!"

"Yeah, I know. I just had to think about some things."

"You didn't tell me if you were OK or not."

She gave him a 'please don't' look. "So...when is that droid coming around?"

"They said about three days."

"Well, I've decided to go to the base. If that's OK with you, of course. I'll give you a bonus, you deserve it anyway. Is it OK?"

Pause. "Yeah, yeah, of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. Just wanted to check. I mean, because, well, if you didn't want to or something."

"Nope, I think I can't think of a reason why I wouldn't want to."

"Good. Then." She sat herself in a chair. It wasn't true. She knew it wasn't. It was all just in her head. What an idiot she'd been, to think that he might have feelings for her.

Gods, she was acting weird. He wondered if maybe she'd bumped her head.

Sut she had sounded sane. And she's sounded almost like she was  _asking_  him to not want to find Skywalker. Why in the galaxy would she do that? Now he was gettting confused. And now she was sitting there, eyes off in space, biting her lower lip. She looked sorta sick.  _Maybe she caught something..._

"Saera, you sure you're OK?"

She snapped out of it. "Yeah, yeah, Fine."

"You sure? You like ill."

"I don't feel so great, actually, I'm gonna go lie down."

"You need anything?"

"No, I'll be fine." And she was gone again, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

_She was acting so strangely. It was almost like she wanted a reason to not look for Skywalker. Almost like she wasn't sure if she should be going to find him._

_I can't deal with this right now. I have other things to think about, more important things than Saera Mernoai's non-existant love life. I've got to start planning for when I get those new engines. I'll get a paint job, fix up the bunks, put some ads in some offices..._

_I have to get her out of my head. She's too screwed up. I'll just get her to the base and get out._

_I need a drink._

"Coruscant's angels are dying in battle."

The droid swept past them and into the cockpit, where it linked straight into the navcomputer.

"What does that mean, anyway?" Saera asked, watching the droid from behind his back.

"I think it's some vague reference to the Rebellion. They want to 'save' Coruscant, maybe."

"I guess that could make sense."

The droid finished its programming and whistled past again, back out to the exit of the ship, beeping annoyedly until Glynn opened the door so it could leave.

"That was fast."

"Yeah, I thought it'd take longer. Well, all we got left to do is get off-planet so we can activate the hyperdrive."

"Yep. Wait, do you think we should make sure we have enough supplies? Beacuse, you know, it could be on the other side of the galaxy, and I don't really want to be eating that gruel stuff for another couple months..."

"Oh, yeh, I could go food shopping." He felt relieved that they didn't have to go right then, somehow eh didn't want to leave the planet.  _You are crazy, crazy!_

"I'll com too! I mean, I'd like to get out, it could be the last time in a while."

"Sure. Just...here." He grabbed a long black coat and handed it to her. "Keep it closed. Unless you want me to attach that pillow again."

"No, I'll be fine. Let's go."

The market was rather dull, but it was better than sitting in the ship waiting to hit regular space.  _I don't know how we're possibly going to sit in the_ Gaellia  _for who knows how long. It sould help if we knew the ETA or something..._

They managed to get quite a few canned meals that looked somewhat more appetizing than the mush stored on the  _Gaellia_ , paind, and left the store. The exit was into an alley that made Glynn feel a bit on edge, like something wasn't right. It wasn't.

"Put your hand sin the air," a voice called from behind them. Glynn dropped the bags of cans and lifted his hands, Saera following suit.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, you don't know?" A man dressing in mostly balck emerged from the shadows and circled around them until he was in front of them, his blaster trained on Saera the entire time. "This little girly has a bounty on her head. Kinda a big one. I'm gonna collect it. Come here, girly."

Glynn could sense Saera shaking next to him. "Don't do it. Stay put," he whispered.

"Shut up! Come here, or I'll shoot!"

"No, he won't." Somehow, something about the bounty hunter said to Glynn that he wasn't going for a kill.

"I told you to shut your mouth!" The bounty hunter lunged at Saera but stopped aboutthirty centimeters away, like he'd hit a wall.

_I still have it..._

Glynn took the moment of the bounty hunter's confusion to draw his own blaster and shoot. As the bounty hunter crumpled to the floor, Saera juemped into Glynn's arms.

"Oh, Gods-"

"Let's get out of here. We've gotta go, quickly." He grabbed her arm and ran to the curb, hailing a landspeeder. "Don't say anything," he whispered before pulling her into the vehicle.

"Main public docking bay."

"You got it." The man eyed them in the rearview mirror. "You guys in some kind of trouble?"

Glynn shoved a few credits over the seat. "Drive fast." The man shrugged and sped up a bit.

"Glynn-"

"Shh." He put a finger to his lips and sat back in the seat, still tense from the recent events. Saera was still shaking and she looked so tiny, so young, almost wrapped up into a ball. He had to pull her into his arms. He ehld her close, kissed and stroked her hair, tried to comfort her. "S'okay, s'okay."

"I'm scared." Her voice was tiny, weak, muffled.

"Shh, shh, s'okay." He rocked her gently and held her, worried she would break, she sounded and felt so delicate. "Shh..."

When they got to the docking bay, he shoved some credit chips at the driver, hoped it was enough, and pulled Saera out of the speeder.

"Pull your collar up," he said, doing the same, trying to hide his auburn hair. Holding her around the shoulders, he guided her to the  _Gaellia_.

"Get back." He checked quickly for any signs of tampering with the ship's entrance, found none, and dragged Saera into it. She immediately collapsed, slumping against the wall. He managed to catch her just before her head the floor.  _Poor thing._ Glynn carried her to the guest quarters and laid her out on her bed. He made sure she wasOK beforer leaving, the lights dimmed.

He went straight to the computer to see what e could find out about this 'bounty'...and what he'd done for the first time in years...


	16. Chapter Sixteen

ENCYLCOPEDIA PROGRAM INTIATED

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BOOKMARKED SELECTION: HISTORY OF THE PRE-EMPIRE ERA

SUBCATERGORIES:  
I. Pre-Republic  
II. Early Republic  
III. Fall of the Republic

SUBCATEGORY "III. Fall of the Republic" SELECTED

The Galactic Republic was increasingly corrupted and self-serving in its later days, ignoring the needs of the people. Our glorious Emperor Palpatine was selected as Supreme Chancellor during this period, but even his incredible selfless sacrificing, political skills, and love for the common folk were not enough to save the Republic from a dead system, crushed under the weight of incompetent and greedy fools.

A great problem were the menaces calling themselves servants of the Force, although we now know that the Force is only meant to be controlled by the Emperor and Lord Vader. These "Jedi," as they called themselves, were constantly meddling where they were not needed and recruiting helpless children to their polluted and unethical cause-

ENCYCLOPEDIA PROGRAM TERMINATED

"Hey..." Glynn's face filled Saera's vision as she opened her eyes.

"Hey...what happened? What..." And then it all came back to her. "Oh, Gods! How? Why?" She shot up. "Is he...dead?"

"I don't know. But just sit down; I think I got some answers. I contacted some people...you do have a bounty on your head, but it's only if you're alive. Our friend wasn't very good at what he does, or he would've his blaster set to stun."

"But who would want a bounty on me?"

Glynn took a deep breath. "Um, well..."

"My father." She felt sickened at this revelation.

"He tried to keep it quiet, but I guess he wasn't getting any results, because a couple of weeks ago the bounty was almost doubled."

"What a bastard. Sending scum like that after his own daughter. I cannot believe this."

"Saera, there's only one way they're gonna stop tracking you. You've gotta get the bounty lifted. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I just don't want to." She paused for a moment. "Oh, and thank you. Thank you for...comforting me. I'm sorry I acted like such a baby. I thought I was going to die. I was scared."

"It's OK," he said gently. "I understand." He reached out and touched her arm, then there was a silence again as she looked down at her hands in her lap and felt his eyes studying face.

"Well, we've gotta get off-planet soon, in case the bounty hunter told someone where you are, so you need to do it within the next couple of hours. Just come and get me when you're done."

"Can't you stay? I don't want to have to do this myself."

"I've got preflight checks to do. And Saera, I'll always be here for you, but this is one thing I just can't get involved in. It's something you've gotta do on your own. OK?"

"Yeah, I know." She flopped back down on her bed. "I'm just not ready."

"You've gotta be."

"Dad?"

"Saera?" His voice came in crackly over the connection and his picture was fuzzy and lined, but he was there. "Saera, where are you? I've been worried sick! Are you alright?"

"Relax, Dad, I'm fine, no thanks to you."

""Where are you? Saera, you must come home immediately!"

"Dad, I can't. The  _Gaellia_ 's programmed to go straight to a predetermined location the second we activate the hyperdrive. Besides which, I don't want to."

"Saera, what are you talking about? What's the  _Gaellia_?"

"Dad, just let me explain. I know what you did!"

He stopped short of his next question. "I don't know-"

"Save it, Daddy Dearest. I know all about the bounty you put on my head. Good job almost getting me killed!"

"What do you mean, I specifically said 'alive or nothing!'"

"DAD! They're not that smart. A bounty hunter just tried to kill me, and probably Glynn, too!"

"Who's Glynn?"

"My friend. The pilot I hired. That's beside the point. How could you do that? How could you send  _bounty hunters_  after me?"

"Saera...I didn't mean for you to be in danger. I just miss you so much, and you left so suddenly...I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you! Saera, you're all I have left in this universe...please, don't do this to me anymore. Please just come home..."

"Dad, are you..."  _Crying? I think he's telling the truth. What have I done to him these past months?_

"Dad...I can't come back right now. The  _Gaellia_ 's set to-to go straight to a predetermined location. As soon as we activate the hyperdrive."

"Can you please tell me what's going on?" he pleaded.

"I can't." She suddenly wanted to tell him. "It might cause...problems. Where we're going isn't of any use, anyway. I've got to make this quick. We need to leave."

"Saera, please come home."

"I...maybe. I'll try."

"Please."

She couldn't speak for a long moment. "Yes. I'll come home, if it's at all possible. I don't know what's going to happen, but it will probably be a few more months before I can come. I'll talk to you. I promise."

"Thank you, Saera. Please just come home."

"I'll try."

"I love you."

"I...love you too."

"Please take care of yourself."

"Bye. Remember to get the bounty removed."

"I will."

She cut off the connection. That conversation had been so strange, and yet she felt slightly liberated, even though she'd promised to go back to where she'd run from. She hadn't realized that her father would be this affected by her flight. Maybe he wasn't so bad, after all.

"We can leave." Saera looked a little exhausted, but she also had a small smile, which Glynn took to be a good sign. "I don't think there are going to be any more bounty hunters after me."

"Strap in, then. We just got cleared by the authorities." She complied and he got them off the planet and into hyperspace without a hitch. He watched the navscreen intently, but the Rebels had been incredibly careful and nothing showed where they were heading.

"Hmmn. I'm gonna try to program the computer to search for where we're going. I'm so bad at this slicing stuff that it probably won't work, but we've got an undefined amount of time, and I've got nothing else to do. Even if I do manage to slice it, we'll probably already be there!"

"Yeah." Saera seemed somewhat preoccupied with the white lines of the stars streaking past the cockpit, so he just started looking through the lines of code in the computer. After half an hour with barely a dent in his progress, she was still sitting there, chewing her lip and staring off into space, literally.

"Credit for your thoughts?"

"What? Oh. Sorry. Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Our fight with the bounty hunter. Actually, I wish I could forget it, but it just keeps playing in my mind."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. There's this one part that just doesn't make sense, though. When he tried to...get at me, he should have been able to, but it was like I had a personal energy shield or something. He just seemed to stop short, for no reason. It's just kinda weird."

"I know what happened."

"What?" He could tell she was curious, and that now he'd have to tell her the whole truth. He prepared himself for her laughter.

"I did it. I almost did make you an energy shield, but an invisible one."

"How is that possible?"

"I think I've figured it out.

"It all started when I was about ten. Well, when I first learned about it. My best friend, Sheere, was getting picked on by bullies a lot. And one day, the biggest, meanest one decided to beat him up. Sheere was a good kid, he wasn't angry or anything like that, but for some reason they just didn't like him. Maybe because he was so nice.

"Anyway, this guy had Sheere underneath him and he was really pounding on him. I was a lot smaller than either of them, and there was no way I could have saved Sheere. I'd just have gotten beaten to a pulp, too. I knew Sheere would've hated that.

"So I was sitting there, watching, powerless to help, just wishing and wishing Sheere was safe and that the guy would stop, and also that I could protect Sheere, help him. Now, at one point, the guy gets off Sheere and lets him try to crawl away. Of course, Sheere is hurt so badly that he only makes it a couple feet. This guy is laughing, and I'm still wishing, and he goes to pummel Sheere again, and BAM! It's like he hits a wall. The bully lets out a scream, turns out he broke his hand. But, I realize this is exactly what I had been picturing in my mind: a wall around Sheere."

"That's what happened-"

"Please, just let me finish. I'll explain later. So, the bully tries to get him again, and I keep on wishing until he gives up and skulks away. I help Sheere back to his house, make sure he's okay, then go home and tell my mother everything.

"She told me that I had Force powers, at least that was what she called them. She said that back before the Empire, there were a group of great warriors called the Jedi Knights. They would come out and test babies to see if they should have their Force powers trained. Mom said that I had been tested and it was decided that I didn't have enough 'strength in the Force' to be trained or something."

"A Jedi? NO WAY!"

"Hey, it's not like I could ever be a Jedi-"

"But you still have a tiny little bit. How come you didn't say anything before?"

"It never occurred to me. I believed my mom at first, and it happened a couple of other times. Once my mother was being...attacked by this guy, and I shielded her. But she said I couldn't tell anyone, ever. It wasn't safe, since there weren't any Jedi left. But it didn't happen very often, and then she died..." He looked down at his hands.

"I have this theory. Mom said the Jedi Knight told her that my slight amount of power was tilted towards protection, which would explain why the only thing I ever did was shield people. But it wasn't a constant, and after she died, I just...never got into a situation where I wanted to protect someone. So I have this theory. I know it only ever happens when I concentrate really hard. But I also think it only happens when I want it for someone enough. When I care about someone enough to want to protect them that much."

"Oh." She didn't meet his eyes. "But why didn't you say anything?"

"That's what I was trying to say, wasn't it? I get so sidetracked sometimes...anyway, I believed my mother when I was younger, but after she died and I didn't do it any more, I thought maybe it was just a story. I think I convinced myself that it wasn't true, just a myth that Mom created to explain things. And then, about a week ago, I started thinking. We were so incredibly lucky to be finding all this stuff about the Rebels when even the Empire couldn't, and they'd been searching for a lot longer than we had. Then I though about this 'Force,' maybe it wasn't just a myth. Maybe it was even guiding us. So I looked in to it in the Encyclopedia but didn't really think about it much. And then, after what happened today...I guess I know now that Mom was right."

"Wait a sec, you thought Jedi were a myth? Of course they were real! I mean, they didn't say anything in school, of course, but just about everyone knows that Jedi were real. Come on, even I know that, and I'm from Tatooine!"

"I don't know, there weren't many rumors like that in the colony we lived in. And I never really thought about it much..."

"What exactly are you going to do now?"

"I dunno. Just live like normal. It doesn't really change anything, I guess. It's not like I got a brain transplant or something, and it's always been there. I just know for sure now what it is."

"Wow. I just can't believe I am talking to a once potential Jedi! That is  _so cool_!"

"Hey, don't go all weird on me, I'm still just Glynn Torshnar, pilot of the  _Gaellia_."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," she said.

"But it's just so cool!"


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Glynn was a Jedi? A Jedi! Well, not really a Jedi, but he could've been!

_Well, it's probably a good thing he was too weak, seeing as how there aren't any left._

Jedi seemed so...wise and mystical and powerful. At least the way Luke had talked about them. Luke was fascinated by the Jedi for some reason. He used to make up stories when they were little. And then there were the stories the old hermit Kenobi had always told. His were even better than Luke's, because Saera suspected Kenobi's were actually true. But he only came into Anchorhead a couple of times a year, and it had been years since she was young enough to gather around him to listen...

Saera smiled suddenly at the situation she found herself in. She was seeking a guy who was, practically, a Jedi-obsessive, with the help of a once Jedi prospective. Luke was probably going to flip out when he found out. He'd never met a Jedi, after all.

_There's a thought. Glynn and Luke in the same room..._

Of course, she knew Luke would just say "hi" like a normal person, and why shouldn't he? But Glynn was already showing animosity towards Luke, although she didn't really know why. Unless he really did feel something for her...

_He doesn't. Come on. Who are you trying to fool? You are just a little girl from Tatooine to him, who happens to be paying a lot of money for his services. OK, so maybe you're friends. Good friends. But that doesn't mean anything._

_"I have this theory...it only happens when I want it for someone enough. When I care about someone enough..."_

She was so confused. She didn't know what to make of this. It was...

_Arrrrg!_

He had come to a conclusion: he was completely and entirely, irrevocably in love with Saera.

And there was nothing he could do about it. Oh, he'd tried. He'd tried avoiding her, he'd tried not looking at her, he'd tried thinking of everything but her. But he couldn't. He didn't know why he loved her. It didn't make sense. Sure, she was gorgeous. Sure, she had this...spunk, a stubbornness that drew him in. Sure, she was kind and compassionate and had a cute sense of humor.

Okay. Maybe he could see why he loved her, but right now he wished he didn't. He wished he'd never kissed her, wished she wasn't in the next room, right in his grasp and yet so far away. Because soon, he'd have to give her up.

And then he was glad he'd met her. He didn't know why, but an old Alderaanian saying came to mind.  _'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all._

_I have to tell her._

He couldn't bear it is she slipped right through his finger and never knew. He had to tell her. Soon.

_"Put your hand sin the air," a voice came from behind them. Glynn dropped the bags of cans and lifted his hands, Saera following suit._

_"What's going on?"_

_"Oh, you don't know?" A man dressed in black emerged from the shadows and circled around them until he was in front of them, his blaster trained on Saera the entire time. "This little girly has a bounty on her head. Kinda a big one. I'm gonna collect it. Come here, girly."_

_"Don't do it. Stay put," he whispered._

_"Shut up! Come here, or I'll shoot!"_

_"No, he won't."_

_"I told you to shut your mouth!" The bounty hunter pointed the gun over at Glynn and there was a huge blast. Suddenly, Glynn crumpled to the ground next to her and there was a sickening smell of charred flesh._

_"Glynn!" She threw herself to the ground and shook him violently, but he wouldn't get up. She turned him on to his back and saw something that made her want to throw up. A huge hole, half a foot across, gushing blood, smoldering, in his chest. She shrank back, screaming and crying hysterically..._

Saera woke up writhing in her sheets, tears in her eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" Glynn asked Saera. She'd come out of her room very late that day and she hadn't appeared to have done anything but roll out of bed and throw on a robe and slippers. Her eyes were also very red.

"Huh? Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Yeah, I just had a bad dream."

"OK then." He decided not to press the matter, but instead turned back to his bowl of gruel. "Ugh. I can't believe I didn't grab any on those cans. I don't usually have to live on this stuff for so long; it's terrible."

"Mm." She nodded.  _Not very talkative today, eh?_

Suddenly, some sort of alarm from the cockpit sounded. It was blaring and beeping.

"What's that?"

"I don't know. I'll go check it out." He rose and went into the cockpit, flicking a switch that would start a routine checkup on all systems, but when he saw the nav screen's lights blinking red, he was pretty sure he'd found the problem. In the corner of the screen, there was a timer that was counting down, he guessed, from a time part. 58:46. 58:45.

"What's happened?" Saera had come in the room and was looking over his shoulder, her hand on his back.

"I think our friends programmed if to go off about a time part before our ETA. Nice of them, I suppose."

"Wait, you're saying we're almost there? It's been, what, a week?"

"I guess so. You'd better get dressed."

Oh, right." She pulled her hand away from him like she'd just been burned or something; he supposed suddenly conscious of her attire. "I'll get ready." She dashed off to her room.

This was too soon. He thought they'd have much more time.

And Saera's face had just...brightened up when he'd told her they were only a time part away.  _A time part from her precious Luke._

He wished he could make her day like that.  _Well, I saved her life a couple times..._  But he knew that saving her life wasn't going to make her look so blissful like that.

_There's only one way you can ever hope for her to look like that because of you. TELL HER!_

He sighed. Easier thought than done.

 **The**  dress. It seemed like an eternity since she'd found in on Bothawui, purchasing it for the sole purpose of wearing it at this moment.

And somehow, now, she didn't want it on.

Oh, not because it wasn't beautiful. Actually, it fit her even better than before. Maybe she'd lost a couple pounds  _not_  eating gruel...

She felt a little overexposed, though. The entire back was out for public display, as well as her arms and quite a bit of chest. People didn't wear clothes like this on Tatooine. They'd get sunburned. And she felt slightly silly. What if Luke thought it was dorky or something? But that wasn't even it, when she thought about it. The problem, Saera realized, was that she didn't want Glynn to see her all dressed up like this, for someone else.

_Oh, stop it! He doesn't care! What on earth is wrong with you? Why would he ever care what you wore, anyway?_

Unless she wore something for someone else.

_Just SHUT UP. He doesn't care. He doesn't care._

She kept repeating this to herself, but even as she did, she grabbed Glynn's long black coat that was still in her room from Parsnil and wrapped it around her body.

"Oh, there's my coat. I've been looking for that."

"No you have not," she said, "or you would have come and gotten it."

Saera looked gorgeous, her hair was all swept up with little ringlets, and she'd put something on her eyes to make them really stand out. He had no clue what it was, though, or where she'd gotten it, as he'd never seen her wear much makeup before. She was swearing some sort of red high-heel whose presence he hadn't been aware of, either. The big trench coat was kinda ruining the whole effect, though.

"What've you on underneath that thing?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, like she'd been caught guilty at something.

"Really?" He grinned and cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh, stop it. You know what I mean." She blushed furiously, despite her scolding tone.

"Well then why won't you tell me?"

"Why do you even care? Quit bugging me about it, OK?"

"Fine. But I want my trench coat back."

"What, now?"

"No. But soon."

"Fine." She sat down in a chair on the other side of the rec room/dining room from him, arms and legs crossed. "You can be really difficult sometimes."

"Oh, look who's talking!" He grinned. "But don't worry, I forgive you."

"Hmph."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes.  _Now! Just tell her now, before you drop out of hyperspace. It'll be so much easier if you get your heart crushed before you have to meet the wonderful Luke. Maybe then she'll understand when you don't wanna say 'hi' to her little boyfriend._

"Saera-"

His wrist chrono started beeping.

_GODS DAMN!_

"What's that?"

"We've got two minute until we hit regular space. I synced it with the nav 'puter. Better go strap in."

They dropped out of hyperspace, perfectly on time, to see a large, half ocean-half landmass planet. The two large continents were each dotted with islands or varying sizes in the surrounding seas. The terrain seemed to be mostly browning grasslands with a few patches of green near the coastlines and a line of mountains on the western edge of the northern continent. The two continents were fairly near the equator of the mystery planet, but a few archipelagos of islands reached to the freezing waters of the poles. There didn't appear to be much civilization anywhere.

"Do you have any clue where we are?"

"Never seen it before. It doesn't looked to be very developed at all." He glanced down at the screen in front of him. I'm only picking up a couple spots of technology. Must be our Rebels."

There was a crackling noise from the communicator. "-Unidentified vessel, please respond. Repeat, this is Patrol Ship 2-3-1. Unidentified vessel, please respond."

"Patrol Ship 2-3-1, this is the  _Gaellia_ , fresh out of Parsnil. I believe you're expecting us."

"Ah, yes, here it is. Set your course to match mine,  _Gaellia_ , and I'll take you to someone who can give you authority to land. But may I be the first to welcome you here."

"Thank you, 2-3-1. Matching course."

The patrol ship, what Glynn was pretty sure was a Y-wing, led them around to the other side of the planet where a large side cruiser, obviously the patrol ship's home base, was in orbit.

" _Gaellia_ , this is star cruiser  _Harau_. Prepare to dock on our port side."

Saera and Glynn looked at each other dubiously. "Uh,  _Harau_ , we weren't told we would be docking in space..."

"Sorry,  _Gaellia_ , orders. We need confirmation of the situation before we can let you go down."

_Oh, great, they're gonna talk to Parsnil. They'll find out we lied. Something's gonna go wrong..._

"OK." There was nothing else he could do but comply.

As soon as the conversation ended, he told Saera the new plan.

"Look, they're gonna talk to Parsnil, ask them about us. They're gonna find out we lied. We've gotta get down there before they have a chance to figure us out. You've gotta talk Skywalker into convincing them to not bother and just let us down. We have to get you to a comm terminal with a link down there, OK?"

"OK." She seemed to be confused but choosing to trust his judgment of the situation.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

"Welcome to the  _Harau_." A high-ranking female official greeted them on the deck of the ship after a smooth docking. "We've heard your situation is unusual. If you'll come with me, we have an area where you can wait while we do some checks. We just have confirmations. The usual. Sorry about this, we just have to be so careful, especially after Yavin..."

"So the rumors are true?" Glynn asked.

"Yes. The Empire blew up Alderaan. It's sad, how almost everyone knows that, and yet we still don't have the kind of support we need."

"I guess people just don't want to act." He looked at Saera pointedly.

"Oh, um, I was wondering if maybe I could get a comm terminal. There's a friend I have down there that I really need to talk to. Actually, the reason we're here."

"Oh?" The woman seemed a bit curious. "Who?"

"Luke Skywalker. I know him from Tatooine."

"Really? We heard there was some one coming from him. Nice guy, Luke. I'll try to get you a comm."

"Tell him Saera needs to speak with him urgently. Saera Mernoai."

"Alright. Now, if you'll follow me..." She led them to a small recreation area where a few off-duty personnel appeared to be relaxing. "Please stay in this area. You can ask any of these people to get me or another officer if you need something."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

Glynn and Saera sat down next to each other on one of the couches, away from the other people in the room. Silently. The Rebels didn't appear talkative, either, and only smiled slightly to acknowledge their presence.

_This room tense much?_

Glynn looked over at Saera. She seemed incredibly nervous, fiddling and glancing around. It was how he felt inside. If this plan didn't work out, if they found out about Saera's 'pregnancy,' well...Saera's unrequited love for Skywalker would be the least of their problems.

_They're no Galactic Empire, but who knows what they'll do to us it they think we're spies or something._

About a half time part passed before the officer returned.

"He's on the comm. Come on."

"Can I accompany her?"

The woman leaned in. "Don't tell anyone, I don't know if I'm supposed to do this. But for you guys and Luke, sure. Follow me."

Saera was giving him a dirty look, but Glynn thought his presence was necessary.  _What is she says something wrong?_

_Sure, you tell yourself that, but what's the real reason? That's right. You don't want to sit in that lounge, imagining her and Skywalker's happy-sappy- reunion. You've gotta monitor it like a chaperone or something._

_I am such a loser._

They entered the little room with the comm terminal and the officer set the channel up before leaving them in privacy. Saera was pulling at a little strand of hair at the nape of her neck.  _Nervous._

"Wait," Glynn said just before Saera pressed the connect button.

"What?" It wasn't as venomous as he'd expected.

"Don't way anything about us being in trouble, just tell him you want to see him desperately and can't bear to wait any longer. That's the truth, anyway."

She ignored his last comment and took a deep breath, poising her finger above the red 'connect' button. She still looked incredibly nervous, he noticed.

She pushed the button. A crackle, and a long buzz, then...

 _Luke Skywalker._ In all his blond-haired, blue-eyed glory.

He looked kind of familiar.

"Saera! It's great to see you!" Luke smiled warmly at her, but she thought she could see a little question in his eyes.

"Hi Luke." Her heart was pounding in her ears and her chest felt all tight, but somehow...she wasn't as happy to see him as she thought she'd be. She just felt really stressed.

"So why have you come here, of all places?"

"Why do you think? To find you, of course! I've been looking for you for a while. Because of the Sand People attack...well, everyone thought you were dead."

"That wasn't Sand People, it was Imperial Stormtroopers." His voice was a little distant and cold.

"Oh, Luke, I'm so sorry. But why would Imperials attack your homestead?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later. Go on."

"Oh, right. Well, um, I heard about the whole Death Star thing, so I figured I'd come find you. I've missed you, a lot."

"Sorry about not telling everyone I wasn't dead, but I was kind of in a hurry."

"That's alright," she said, even though it wasn't, really. She wished he'd taken the time. Why couldn't he have taken the time?

Glynn coughed off to the side. She snapped her head towards him and gave him a dirty look.

"Uh, Luke, I really want to see you. There's...something important I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"No, I...I'd really like to tell you in person, as soon as possible. It's very important." She put as much pleading as she could into her eyes and voice.

"Well, I suppose I could ask a favor of someone I know..."

"Thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me!"

"Hey, thank her, she's going to be the one doing all the string-pulling."

"Her?" She couldn't help asking, feeling a little silly.

"Another thing I'll explain in the long story."

"Oh. Well, thanks, hopefully I'll see you very soon."

"Bye."

She shut off the link.

_Her. Who could 'her' be?_

Saera turned away from the console to see Glynn looking off in another direction with his arms folded across his chest and a little scowl on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." His voice was just the tiniest bit strained, so little she almost didn't hear it.

_Well, if he's not going to tell me, I'm not going to stand around playing games and sifting through his brain._

"You're going to get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that."

He cocked his head to the side, amused. "Why would I care if I got wrinkles?"

"You're impossible." She sighed, and he resumed his scowling.  _Whatever..._ She opened the door. "I'm done."

"Talk to Luke?" The officer smiled.

"Yeah." The officer winked at her knowingly and led them back to the lounge-type area. Saera couldn't help but stare at the wall chrono as they sat there in silence. Every minute was another minute they could be found out in, another minute for her to lose everything in.

She glanced over at Glynn. Well, maybe not  _everything_...

No. Thinking about it made her even more sure that the only happiness she could ever find would be with Luke.

_What I'm doing is right._

It had to be.

Glynn chewed his lip violently, trying to rack his brain for where he'd seen Skywalker. Wanted posters? No, those were only the Princess' face. There weren't a whole lot of them, actually. Imperial cover-up...

Where!

It had been half a time part since Saera had contacted her Lovey-Diddums. Why weren't they on the surface yet? Or at least getting ready to go down?

_It's OK. Half a time part is not all that long. Not really._

Hey, he should be happy that he didn't have to play nice with Saera's boyfriend yet. Every minute they waited was a minute they were together, and not even Skywalker could take that away from him.

_Tell her now, then, while you're still alone and together..._

No. Now was not the time for a confession of love. They weren't really alone, anyway.

 _Oh yeah, a bunch of rebel pilots and crewmen_ really  _care about your love problems._

Well, if her wasn't going to tell her he loved her, he might as well tell her how gorgeous she looked right now.

"Saera?"

"Yes?" She turned to look at him.

"I just wanted to say that-"

"Mernoai?" That stupid officer had come back again! Glynn was really starting to dislike the well-meaning rebels.

_This is the second time they've interrupted me..._

"Yes?"

"You and Torshnar here have been cleared to go down to the planet's surface. Guess you said something right to someone." She smiled mischievously. "I'll escort you to your ship. It's about time you guys got going-I'm becoming your own personal butler."

"Thank you."

_Thank the Gods._

"Glynn, what were you saying?" she asked in a low voice as they trailed behind the Rebel officer.

"Huh? Oh, nothing important."

"OK."

_Idiot!_

When they got back to the  _Gaellia_  they strapped in and Glynn got directions from flight control for where to land, etcetera. The base was quite large compared to what he'd expected, and some parts looked like they'd been there for a while. They'd probably had a small outpost here already, then built on when they'd come from Yavin.

He didn't know exactly what would be waiting for them down there? A note for Saera? An escort to Skywalker? Skywalker  _himself_?

_Uggh, please not that. I don't think I could deal with a face-to-face with lover boy just yet._

_It's your own fault you have to see him at all. If you'd just told her and got rejected, at least she'd understand why you DON'T want to see her stupid boyfriend._

It occurred to Glynn that he was only putting off telling her, perhaps, because he still held out some hope that she could possibly, maybe love him back.

_Get that thought out of your head; there's NO chance of that._

As soon as they'd landed, Saera rushed off to the guest room. "I just have to do something." A few minutes later she was back in the cockpit as he did some post-flight checks on the  _Gaellia_ 's system. She was a bit flushed, with considerably less lipstick on and not wearing the trench coat. Apparently, underneath it had been nothing more interesting than a pair of feminine slacks and a shirt made of some strange flowy material. She'd taken out her hair, too, but it was still a bit curlier than usual.

"That's it? I thought you were wearing some incredibly low-cut shirt or nothing but see-through underwear, you got so uppity."

"Some day, Torshnar," she said, red-faced and through clenched teeth. "Some day I'm going to kill you."

"Is that a threat? Take it easy! There you go, all uppity again. Just a  _joke_."

"Take your stupid coat." She shoved the big bundle she'd been carrying at him.

"You need to lighten up."

"You need to grow up," she shot back. "Do you really think I'd wear nothing but see-through underwear?"

He grinned and shrugged. "I wouldn't bet on it, but I'd love to see it."

"And I thought you were impossible before."

"You're pretty impossible yourself. And since when do you get over calling  _me_ immature?"

She sighed and brought her hand up to her forehead. "Look, I don't want to get into another fight, please? Can we just drop it? Not now."

"Whatever."

She moved towards the cockpit entrance.

"Where are you going?"

"To, uh, check out the base and stuff, I guess."

 _More like going to go check out_ Luke _and stuff. And I don't think I want to know what 'and stuff' stands for..._

"OK." He didn't want to push his luck, but as soon as she had left the room, he jumped out of his chair to follow.

_Gods, you're an idiot. Sat still and you could've stayed behind._

_And imagined their reunion. And them touching. And kissing. And holding each other. And..._

_STOP!_

_You're going to drive yourself crazy._

"What are you going?" Saera asked when he caught up with her at the ship's entrance.

"Coming on the tour."

"Oh. Well, I, um, kind of..."

He gave her a questioning look.

"Well, I guess there's no reason you can't come." She gave him a smile, one he knew was fake.

_Maybe she's already figured it out and feels bad for me. That's plausible._

_And stupid._

His head hurt. Maybe he was going crazy.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Saera glanced over at Glynn, then back at the flimsy with a rough map scrawled on it. When they'd gotten off the ship a Rebel had handed it to her with instructions from Luke to meet him in the ness hall.

 _But how would I have felt if Luke had told_ me _to beat it while I knew he was going to meet some other girl._

_BUT GLYNN DOESN'T LIKE ME!_

_I am a dorky little 19-year-old girl from Tatooine who dragged him halfway across the galaxy to find the man I love. Glynn is a 26-year-old space pilot who's been to probably hundreds of worlds...OK, not in the_ Gaellia _...But, he's been to at least dozens of worlds, and he's a once-potential Jedi, and he's handsome and witty and funny and compassionate and..._

_Wait, handsome? Glynn's...handsome?_

_Well, we already figured out that whole 'physical attraction' thing. That's not the point. The point is, he does_ not _, and never_ will _, feel anything but friendship towards me._

She realized she was tugging at her hair and made herself stop. Well, it wasn't her fault. She was nervous.

They were there. Behind those doors...Luke!

"Saera! It's so great to see you!" Luke wrapped her up in a hug like she'd hoped he would, but she wasn't as ecstatic as she'd expected. For one thing, her heart didn't go all flippy. Sometimes, when she used to see Luke, her heart would jump up and down in her chest, but right now it wasn't. She'd thought it would, not having seen him for upwards of three months, but...it didn't.

Another reason was because she could sense Glynn watching her. She could tell he was glaring at them, and she couldn't get the image of hurt navy eyes out of her head.

And she could see a bunch of Rebels on the edges of the room watching them and whispering among themselves.

"It's great to see you, too."

"So why are you here? Who's that?" He broke off the hug and nodded over at Glynn.

"Oh, he's...a friend. Come over here, Glynn." He seemed hesitant but came to her side anyway. "Luke, this is Glynn Torshnar. Glynn, Luke."

Glynn thrust his hand at Luke. "I'm the pilot."

"He's a  _friend_ ," she said pointedly.

"Have we met before?" Glynn was looking at Luke strangely as they shook hands.

"Sorry, I don't think so."

"Oh." He was still looking at Luke very oddly.

"Well, Saera, you didn't tell me why you're here."

"Oh, it's, um, a long story. Probably long enough to match yours. I'll tell it to you later." She grinned.

"Right. Well, let me show you around. There's some people you should probably meet. Come on."

Luke led Saera and Glynn down a few corridors, pointing at areas of interest. There didn't seem to be many. Glynn tried to stay next to Saera but couldn't help falling behind. It was too depressing to see her looking at Luke with shiny eyes.

"I can't show you much for, you know, security reasons. But there are a couple sections, and you're going to want to meet our resident nut case." Luke brought them into a big hanger full of mostly smaller, one-man ships.

"This is the more permanent hangar, for ships that are going to be here on a long basis. The place you two came from was for things like courier ships or supply ships. My X-Wing's over there-" he pointed to the left," but there's someone I have to introduce you to." He went in the opposite direction.

 _Ooh, an_ X-Wing _have we? How speeeeecial._

_NO WAY._

They'd just come into a corner of the hangar, and sitting right there was what appeared to be...the  _Millenium Falcon_?

"This is the ship that saved my life, the  _Falcon_."

So it  _was_  the  _Millenium Falcon_. That meant...

"Chewie, come here, and bring Han, please." The big Wookiee came into view from around the other side of the ship and let out a loud growl. "Um, right. I still can't understand him." Skywalker smiled apologetically.

As Chewbacca went inside the ship, Glynn suddenly realized that the last time he'd seen that big, bulky form was on Tatooine...Mos Eisley cantina...

"That's where! I lost you guys to them!"

"What's he talking about?"

"I don't know. Glynn, what's wrong?"

"I just realized why he looks so familiar! You and the old man, in the cantina. He picked Solo and Chewbacca instead of me. I was going to get you guys off planet, to Alderaan, I think. But he just...passed me over."

"Sorry, I don't remember."

"Oh, I don't think you saw me. But I remember you, you had trouble with an alien-"

"And Ben took care of him. Yes, I remember that. First time I saw a lightsaber in action."

"The alien had a lightsaber?" Saera seemed incredibly confused by all this. "Are you talking about Ben Kenobi?"

"Yes, Ben Kenobi. He had the lightsaber-"

"Hey, Kid, what's you want?" Solo had suddenly appeared next to Luke, Chewie in tow.

"Oh, Han, this is an old friend from Tatooine, Saera. And this is Glynn. You've met him?"

"Ah, no, just the Ben guy. But I've heard about you, and the  _Falcon_. What pilot hasn't? 'She'll make point five past lightspeed,' right?"

Solo grinned. "See, Kid? He's heard of her."

"Yes, Han, I'm an ignorant Tatooine farm boy. You don't need to keep reminding me." The words were defensive but the tone playful.

"So why'd you get Chewie to drag me out here? Just to meet these two? Not that it wasn't a pleasure." He grinned lopsidedly at Saera, who in turn blushed and smiled back.  _I'll keep my eye on him..._

"I'm gong to take them to see Leia next."

"Ah, off to bug the Princess." Solo rubbed his hands together in exaggerated glee. "Count me in."

"I thought you might say that. You coming, Chewie?"

The Wookiee emitted a low growl.

"Says he's got too much to fix from the last run we made. I don't think he appreciates my flying sometimes, even if it does save his skin. But it's not my fault we keep getting sent on those things."

"Hey, it's not mine either."

"Well, you one of them. Officially, at least."

"That doesn't mean I have any say. Talk to Leia, she's higher up. We've all got to contribute, anyway." Skywalker glanced over at what must have been clueless expressions on Glynn and Saera's faces. "Sorry. Rebel stuff. Come on, we'll figure out exactly all the connections we seem to have on the way."

Han let out a low whistle. "Small galaxy."

So far, from what Saera could figure out, stormtroopers had been after a droid that had crash-landed on Tatooine. Luke and Owen and Beru had bought said droid, but when Luke was with old Ben and droid, afore mentioned stormtroopers hand burned down the Lars homestead, hoping to find the droid. Luke, Ben, and droid plus droid's counterpart had gone to Mos Eisley in search of a ship. Among candidates were the  _Gaellia_  and the  _Millenium Falcon_. Obviously, Han Solo's ship was chosen to take Luke and co. to Alderaan, only to arrive and find Alderaan had been destroyed. In the next twelve or so hours they'd been captured by the Death Star, rescued a princess, escaped again (losing Ben in the process) and blown the thing at Yavin.

It was all very confusing.

"Well, I hope none of that was classified," Luke said.

"If it had been, they would've told us. Or maybe they didn't think we were dumb enough to tell non-Rebels," Han added dryly.

"You know, and you're not a Rebel, technically."

"Don't you forget it. You don't stop to notice and poof, I'll be gone."

Luke rolled his eyes, smiling, and Saera was pretty sure she was the only one to see it. All this banter between them was pretty interesting.

"But wait a second." Saera thought back to something said earlier. "What has _any_  of that got to do with lightsabers and Jedi? Well, besides the fact that Glynn was almost a Jedi. Did you know that you were talking to a Force-sensitive, Luke?" Saera said it expectantly, waiting for Luke to bombard Glynn with a thousand questions.

"Really?" Luke seemed interested, but it wasn't the over-the-top reaction Saera had anticipated.

"Well, yeah." Glynn seemed embarrassed. "I mean, a little. I could have never actually been a Jedi; I wasn't strong enough. They tested me, though. But I'd be dead like the rest of them if I'd made it."

"Not all the Jedi died."

"What do you mean? They were purged by...Vader, right?" Saera asked, lost again.

"He missed Ben. And he missed me."

Saera clapped a hand over her wide-open mouth and stopped in the middle of the hall. "Ben Kenobi was a Jedi? YOU'RE a Jedi?"

"If you could only see your face right now..." Luke stopped walking and so did Han and Glynn. All three of them were looking at her with the same amused expression. "Yes, Ben was a Jedi. And his name wasn't really Ben, it was Obi-Wan. I'm not really a Jedi yet. He only trained me for a very, very little bit."

"Do you have a lightsaber" Saera felt giddy and silly, suddenly the one with a thousand questions. He wasa JEDI! Wow. And she'd thought  _Glynn's_  past was weird.

"Yes. It was my father's. He was a Jedi, too. That's how I have the power. Btu I guess he got...purged. Ben was killed by Vader too, so I suppose he didn't miss him in the end..." Luke's face was serious and his jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry, Luke." She reached out a hand to touch his arm.

Han Solo threw up his hands. "I give up. You're a former Jedi hopeful. You'rea Jedi in training. The old man was a Jedi! What is this, 'Jedi Anonymous'?"

"Relax, Han. There's still you and Leia and Chewie and Saera.  _They're_  not Jedi."

"Great. A ratio of four to three. Somehow, I don't think that quite holds true for the rest of the galaxy. And who evens says this junk is true? Come on, if we don't hurry up, Rieekan and Mon Mothma will have her Worshipfulness in another meeting." He started walking.

"Eager to see someone?" Luke teased, following and dragging along Glynn and Saera.

"Hey." Han grinned, jabbing a thumb at his chest. "I was promised prime annoying opportunities."

_OK, things could be much, much worse. I could be stuck in a small white room alone with Skywalker. At least Solo's here, his presence seems to have eased the tension a bit._

Of course, things could be much, much better. He could be stuck in that room alone with Saera, and she could be madly in love with him and not care a vrelt's rear about Skywalker...

_This weird Jedi/Mos Eisley connection has just jumbled everything up even more._

They were at the Princess of former Alderaan's quarters. Glynn would really much rather not be here. He didn't really want to be here, even if she was a princess, but he wasn't about to go anywhere without Saera.

Skywalker pressed a buzzer and the door promptly opened, revealing a golden-colored protocol droid.

"Master Luke! What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Threepio. Do you know if Princess Leia has a few minutes?"

"I believe so, if her schedule is correct, sir-"

"Ask her if she can talk for a while. I've got some people for her to meet."

"Yes, Master Luke. Mistress Leia! Your Highness!" The droid disappeared back into the quarters.

"Threepio was one of the droids that crash-landed on Tatooine, but he really belongs to Leia."

Glynn found interesting that Luke referred to the Princess as merely Leia. Maybe something was happening between them. He couldn't help but hope so before realizing how crushed Saera would be.

_Do I really want to be the rebound relationship?_

_If I want ANY relationship, I've still got to tell her._

_Later, later._

_You'd better, Torshnar. Do NOT just let her slip away. Not without saying something, anything._

"Luke. Captain Solo." Princess Leia had appeared at the door.

"Your Supreme Hignessness." This was interesting. The Princess was denying it too much to be anything but happy to see Solo, and he was incredibly eager, but both were desperately trying to seem irritated by the other's presence.

_Love triangle? Skywalker wants Princess, Princess wants Solo, Solo wants Princess, but no one says anything?_

"Princess, this is an old friend, Saera Mernoai, and her friend Captain Glynn Torshnar. Princess Leia is the one who pulled the strings to get you down here."

"Thank you, your Highness," Saera said.

"A pleasure." She smiled warmly, shaking Saera's hand, then his own.

"I was hoping you had a free moment or two to spend with us, help us welcome Saera and Glynn to the base, that sort of thing?" Luke seemed anxious.

"Why not? It seems we all get so little time to just enjoy one another's company." Princess Organa smiled again, but it was a tired smile. Glynn found himself wondering how old she was. She looked about the same age as Saera, but in her eyes was something that seemed much older, much more...exhausted.

 _She's from Alderaan,_  he remembered. _And she was on the Death Star when they blew it into oblivion. It must have been torture for her._

They walked slowly back to the mess hall, all five of them, bunched up in the narrow hallway. People had to squeeze by to get past. Solo was making some joke about Hutts. Although she probably couldn't tell herself, the Princess was leaning slightly towards him. Sadly, Glynn noticed that next to him, Saera was doing the same thing to Skywalker. All four of them seemed totally unaware that they'd paired into couples, with Glynn left on his own at the edge of the group.  _Unless I grab the droid or the Wookiee._  The thought made him shudder.

Solo delivered the punch line, causing the Princess to roll her eyes, a small smile playing along her lips. Saera and Luke burst into laughter. Glynn followed suit, though he hadn't been paying attention to the joke. Seizing an opportunity that had suddenly presented itself, he threw his arm over Saera's shoulders and pulled his mouth up next to her ear.

"I don't get it," he whispered as the laughter died.

Saera shrugged. "Neither do I." He suspected the shrug was meant to serve a dual purpose, one being to get his arm off her shoulders, but he let it sit there, not slipping away. He was also conscious that, while the smuggler and the princess seemed somewhat oblivious, Skywalker had noticed the arm and appeared confused.

_Oh, didn't think it was like that, huh farm boy? Well...you were right. Gods, howI wish you weren't, though..._

"You're beautiful," he whispered, confessing what he hadn't been able to before but also glad to have any excuse to pull her closer.

Saera flushed pink. "Uh, thank," she replied as the Princess made a witty retort to something Solo had said.

He had the sudden urge to tell her right there. He knew he could do it. It would be so quick, so painless. Bu he wouldn't, not in a random rebel hallway, in front of people he'd known for less than a time part.

And then she was holding him. He had to look over at her to make sure he wasn't imagining it. But now, she had her arm around his  _waist_! It appeared to have just been slung casually around him and settled there, but it was so amazing that, seeing and feeling it, he still wasn't sure if it were true.

Incredulous, he loosened his arm so it hung around her shoulders instead of being perched on them. Her grip remained steady. He looked at her, hopingto catch a glimpse of her face, but she was turned the other way in some heated debate with Solo and the Princess. He was Skywalker's face instead. Luke was looking them both up and down as the walked down the hall entwined in each other. He had realization and... worry on his face?

Glynn dropped his arm. How could he treat Saera like a...toy to show off? That was what he was doing, trying to get Skywalker to see they'd bonded. Trying to show what he  _could_  do. Trying to imply more.

Saera's arm dropped, no reason for it to still be there. She was still not looking at him.

_Oh well._

That would've been amazing, if she'd left her arm there without his influence. It could have made his entire month. Maybe his entire three months since he'd met her.

_I can only hope for so much in one day._


	20. Chapter Twenty

Saera lay on her bed on the  _Gaellia_. She'd just come from talking with Luke and Princess Leia and Captain Solo. And Glynn. They'd all sat at one of the mess tables, but the Captain and the Princess had done most of the talking. Luke was oddly quiet. Glynn was oddly quiet. And she knew she had been oddly quiet.

Luke had been a worried quiet. He'd looked like there was something gnawing at him. He almost looked like he was ready to burst from wanting to get something out, but he couldn't and had to think some more. As they'd all parted, Princess Organa for a council meeting, Captain Solo for his ship, Luke for a Rogue Squadron meeting, and herself and Glynn for the  _Gaellia_ , Luke had pulled her aside and asked if he could see her later. Alone. He'd given her directions to his quarters. His quarters! She was to show up after he'd done his ship sims or something.

She hadn't told Glynn.

Glynn. Glynn had been...sad quiet. He'd stared morosely at the table in front of him and once when she'd asked him a question it took a few seconds for him to even register that someone had spoken to him. Maybe it was a depressed quiet. He'd certainly hung his head fairly low.

And she'd been...well, Saera had been a guilty quiet. Because that's what she was. Guilty. Guilty of playing with Glynn, with no intention of being serious.

She knew that it was all in her mind, and that there was no way he could possibly care for her as more than a friend, but she'd still led him on. She'd grabbed on to him and held him close, and let him hold her.

She tried to think, what had possessed her to act so stupidly? She was trying to get his arm off? Why hadn't she just told him to quit it?

_He could have made a big scene; it would have been embarrassing..._

Saera knew she was just making excuses, and pretty pathetic ones at that. Glynn wouldn't make a scene. What was the real reason she'd let him hold her?

It had been nice, that she knew. He'd been warm and comforting and when he held her she got this little bitty fuzzy feeling deep in the pit of her stomach...

_Oh, great. It's that stupid 'physical attraction' junk again._

Yes, that was it. It was all pure physical attraction.

Why did it have to happen?

There was no way she could confess to Luke tonight, he might think she was some kind of whore after seeing her arms all draped around Glynn. Why had she done that, stupid, stupid! And tonight had held such promise...

Well she still had to go. It was probably better to take things slowly with Luke, anyway, rather than play the 'I love you, let's make out' card.

At least now she didn't have to try to wear  **the**  dress again.

Glynn had heard Saera leaving the Gaellia, no matter that she tried to keep quiet. It didn't surprise him; he'd heard her talking with Skywalker earlier. What did surprise him was that he'd actually let her go.

He hadn't interfered again. He'd just let her 'sneak' out. He'd figured out that no matter how much he tried to prevent it, she'd see Skywalker. She'd tell him she desperately loved him. He couldn't stop it.

He though about how she would probably spend the night with Skywalker. It made him feel physically sick. He couldn't sit around on his ship, all alone. He'd drive himself crazy. If he could find someone to talk to...maybe he'd at least be able to get his mind off her. Preferably someone with alcohol...

Solo.

Glynn let himself wander out of the ship and to the docking bay. If he though about it too much he'd probably mess up-best just to let his feet do it all. He didn't have the luxury of thought...

"Solo!" He found himself banging on the entry hatch of the  _Millennium Falcon._  "Solo!"

He heard some movement inside the ship and a few seconds later the hatch was open. He'd been leaning against the thing and had almost fallen flat on his face.

"Oh, it's you, Torshnar. What d'you want?" Solo looked slightly irritated.

Glynn shrugged, wondering himself why he was there. "I just wanted to talk to someone. Bored."

Solo stared him in the eyes. "You look really pathetic."

"What?"

The smuggler sighed. "Come in."

"Hi." Saera tried to put emotion, emphasis into that one little word, but she knew it came out warbled.

"Um, hi." Luke was looking at her strangely. He'd just opened the door to his quarters. She could see they were small, cramped, and were shared with another rebel who wasn't present. "Well, come in. Sorry, it's the only place we can talk privately." He seemed embarrassed.

She went in and, not wanting to sit on his or his roommate's bed, leaned against a wall. "So, why am I here?"

Saera, I'm worried," he blurted out.

"Um, OK..."

"Well, I mean, it's not really my place to say or anything like that, but..." he dropped his eyes. "It's just...you and Glynn. How well do you know him?"

"What do you mean? I hired him on Tatooine over three months ago, most of which we spent cooped up in a small ship in hyperspace. I think I know him pretty well."

"But do you really know all that much about him? Saera, I know you like him, but I just don't know if you should be so-"

"What are you trying to say?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt, and I can tell that you guys-"

"You think he's a bad person? What do you mean, you know I like him?"

"I just got the impression that you two were a couple." Luke seemed embarrassed that she was so annoyed, apologetic, awkward, all the things that used to endear him to her, but now she felt only anger. How dare he? Questioning Glynn! He didn't know him, didn't know the first thing about him!

"We are not a couple, we are very good friends. Nothing more. And you have no right to be talking about Glynn like that. Of course I know him! And if you did, you'd know how silly you sound."

"I'm sorry, Saera. I was just...worried." His eyes pleaded, but it just irritated her even more. Forcing herself to calm down, she talked sweetly.

"What is there to be worried about?"

"Well," he said, slightly suspicious of her new tone, "It's just that you two were so...openly showing couple-like behavior."

"Oh, you mean that thing in the hall? Luke, that wasn't couple behavior!" She laughed, relieved, at him and herself and both of them together. "OK, so maybe it was. But that's not how we meant it! We were just joking around. He was...teasing me, so I teased him back."

Luke looked slightly relieved, but not enough. "You're sure? I mean, do you know if you can talk for him, too? I'm sorry, Saera, I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"Luke, Luke." She crossed the very tiny room and touched his cheek. "You're worrying too much. It's cute, but you should save yourself the hassle. I'm fine."

He was gazing at her, slightly bewildered, seeming like this was the first time he'd noticed that she was a girl.

_Not a girl. I'm a woman. What would I do as a woman?_

She would seize the moment and kiss him passionately. But the tiniest flicker of her that was still a girl held her back, for some reason thinking of Glynn and his laughing navy blue eyes.

Maybe it was her conscience.

"I've missed you, Luke. You have no idea, how terrible it was when I found out about your homestead. I though you were dead. And then I found out you weren't. That's why I'm here, I never answered that question. I came to find you." She whispered the last word.

"I'm glad you came." His face suddenly loomed huge in front of her.

_He's going to kiss me!_

She'd waited for this moment her whole life, imagined it thousands of time sin her head. But no matter how the scene played out, one thing was always the same. She and Luke had pledged their undying love for each other. And right now, she didn't feel like it was the time or place.

Before their lips met, she turned the attempted kiss into a hug. She hoped that she hadn't ruined her chances because of it. She told herself it was because she hadn't told Luke she had loved him yet.

Not because the blue eyes she thought of still weren't Luke's.


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

"And tha's my story." Glynn knew he was very drunk. He'd had...oh, he'd lost count. He'd had a lot of cups of whatever it was Solo had on the ole  _MF_.

"So you love this girl?" Solo was a good listener, better than Glynn had thought he would be. Maybe he wasn't really so bad, 'cept for the illegal spices and stuff...

"Of course I do. She's perfect! Well, except for the stubborness. I wish women weren't so stubborn."

"Here, here."

"But she's in love with Wonderboy. He blew up a frinkin' Death Star! How'm I 'sposed to compete with that?"

Solo was nodding his head. Up, down, up. Bobbity bob bob. Like the little rope-jumping game. That was a great game...

"Well, kid-"

"Don' 'kid' me! I'm prob'ly only couple years younger than you, and I should get...um, respect!"

"Right. Whatever. Torshnar. Anyway, just tell her you love her. How's she supposed to know if you don't tell her?"

"She's smart..."

"And female. Their brains work funny. I think. But you have to tell her, or she'll never figure it out. Worst'll happen is you get turned down, which is better than nothing, eh?"

"No, no, no! Not knowing's better than making a fool of myself!" Solo muttered something under his breath. "Wha?"

"Nothing, nothing. You are so drunk, though."

"So are you."

He shrugged. "Nah, I'm only a little bit drunk. You, on the other hand, are completely wasted."

"So? Problem?"

"Nothing, I was just saying."

Glynn drank some more of the brown stuff. "What about you an' tha Princess? You get her in the bag yet?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Ha! What'm I talking about! She was clinging to you all afternoon!"

"Yeah, I wish. I think the Corellian liquor is giving you brain damage."

"I am allowed to be brain damaged, I'm a brokenhearted loser-man, with no purpose in life if I cannot be with my love..."

Solo looked at him funny and corked the bottle. "Anymore and you'll probably die from alcohol poisoning, then they'll blame me and kick me off this Gods-forsaken planet. Wait, I forget. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Both, prolly."

The smuggler shrugged. "I guess." He went to put the bottle away. "Now, Torshnar, are you sure you won't pass out in one of the halls? Or do you need me to call you up someone to take you home?" He grinned maniacally.

"Shut up, Solo. I can find my own ship by my own self." Glynn banged his hand down on the table in front of him and stood up, only to wobble back into his seat. "Ah'm OK." This time he stood up more slowly. " _Now_  I am leaving." He turned on the balls of his feet. Spin, spin, spin, stop! Now left, right, left, right. One foot, two foot, one foot, two foot. How long was it going to take, at this rate, until he could get back to his ship and sleep?

He decided to go against common sense and broke into a run once he was out of the  _MF_. He was having a good time. People were looking at him funny, but so what?

Then he accidentally ran into a girl and knocked her to the ground. He leaned over, hoping she wasn't dead. Then he'd have to go to a funeral, and he didn't have any good black clothes right then...

"Glynn? What are you doing? You almost killed me! Ugg, where have you been, you smell awful!" Saera picked herself up from the floor. Glynn was holding his forehead and slightly rocking back and forth.

"Shh, too many queshions! One a' time, one a'time!" There was  _some_ thing wrong with him, that much was certain.

"Where were you?" She asked slowly, trying to get through to him.

"The  _MF_! She's so pretty. I wish  _Gaellia_  was that pretty. Not tha  _Gaellia_  isn't pretty..."

"The  _MF_?"

Glynn sighed, looking exasperated. "Don' you know anything? The  _MF_! Solo's baby!" His words were very slurred.

"The  _MF_...the  _Millennium Falcon_? You think  _that's_  a nice looking ship? You've got more problems than whatever Captain Solo's given you."

"All's I know's it was brown an' Corellian an' made me very, very drunk."

Saera shot up an eyebrow. "Indeed. For what it's worth, you just described liquor and a person. Brown and Corellian and drunk-making!" She threw her hands in the air. "Come on, we've got to get you back to the ship before you plow down any more people."

She led him back to heir docking bay as he clung to her arm, complaining about dizziness most of the way.

"Now go straight to bed," she instructed when they were in the ship. "And have a hangover shot ready for tomorrow; you'll probably need it. No, you'll definitely need it." She watched as he tried to walk but kept tipping all around.

"Screw tha idea. No walking for me." He looked at her for a couple of seconds. "Saera, can I kiss you?"

Her heart beat faster, even with his drunk voice. It was almost funny and cute, how he asked like a little clumsy child wanting a new toy but being polite. Except that she knew that a kiss with Glynn was anything but clumsy of childish. No, that wasn't somewhere she wanted to go while he was drunk.

_Hey, that's not somewhere you want to go with him at all._

"Sorry, Glynn, I guess the odds aren't in your favor. I'm taken, remember?"

"Oh," he said, notably disappointed. "Yeah. Why do you like him anyway?"

"Because...because he's him, OK? Some things you just can't explain," she snapped. "Sorry. Just, go to bed, OK?" Impulsively she patted him on the head like he was a felinx, then left him to maneuver his way to his quarters by himself.

"Why did he go and get himself drunk?" she said to herself once she was in her little room. Didn't he know better; he could have let loose something about her 'pregnancy'!  _That_  would have taken quite a bit of explaining to go away, and she didn't know if she could have made it go away at all.

She heard a clunk next door.  _Well, he made it to his room, I guess._  "Are you OK?" she yelled.

"Yes!" he yelled back, giggling rather strangely. He was being such a child! She didn't want to lose Luke again because of a silly mistake, not after she'd come so close to telling him tonight. It was all so perfect. She could have just whispered it into his ear when they had hugged. 'I love you, Luke.' Four little words would have been all it would have taken...

But the moment had passed. She had half-heartedly hoped for another but knew, somehow, it wouldn't come that night.

_Saera-_

_I've been given a mission. I can't give you any details. I can't even tell you when I'll be back. I'll come find you when I am._

_I'll miss you._

_-Luke_

The note was so short, but it gave her such hope. He would miss her!

Saera read it again and sighed, flopping on to her bunk. She figured he'd be gone maybe a week and a half at the most? She hoped it wasn't more; she didn't know if she would make it. It stunk how it had been such short notice that he'd had to have a note delivered to her, but she could kind of see where the rebels were coming from. She suspected she and Glynn were still on shaky ground with them.

Glynn. When she'd told Glynn that Luke was leaving, he'd remained properly indifferent, except for his eyes. His beautiful navy blue eyes had opened the slightest bit wider, taken on a hint of sparkle. Then he'd opened his mouth, to say...

"Hmph."

Saera was happy with the note. Luke had said he'd miss her, which was a HUGE thing. But, even though that was 99percent it, there was still this itty bitty 1percent that was...glad he was going?

If Luke was going, maybe Glynn would talk to her. Not junk talk, but talk like they did before he'd come to this planet. They hadn't said more than a few words to each other for two days, ever since the whole weird drunk thing. He'd apologized the following morning for 'acting stupid,' as he put it. During that time she'd managed to see Luke three more times, in the mess hall.

She missed talking to Glynn like that. She even missed seeing him every waking second, something she'd never had thought possible in their first few days together. It made her cringe to think how wide-eyed she was in those days.

_In those days? That was, what, three months ago?_

She'd changed so much as a person in three months. Three months ago she'd never been off Tatooine. Three months ago she wouldn't have lied about being pregnant to find a rebel base. Three months ago she wouldn't have doubted how she felt about the person she want to find so badly...

Which, you know, she didn't now. She just had to adjust from 'Life With Glynn' to 'Life With Luke.'

_Life With Glynn..._

Life With Glynn would probably involve a lot of running around the galaxy, or jogging, in the  _Gaellia_...

Why was she thinking about that? Like With Luke was what was going to happen! But then she realized what that meant.

Hiding in a rebel base all through her early twenties at least, watching Luke go on secret suicide missions. Waiting day after day for him to come home. And then one day, he'd never show up...

Could she do that to herself? Could she make herself let him go and then just sit around and hope that he'd be safe? Could she honestly support his risking his life every day, the way he'd need to be supported?

She didn't know.


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo

It was torture, as awful as he could imagine it. It was torture to look at her every day and think about how he couldn't love her. It was torture to act like he didn't care that she was in love with another man. It was torture to think of that other man holding her, kissing her. It was torture just to live.

But most of all, it was torture to speak and restrain himself from screaming out at the top of his lungs. Like right now. They were sitting in the rec/dining room, eating lunch, He, Glynn, sat silent. Her, Saera, trying to make silly small talk. She didn't want to talk about her relationship with Luke; frankly, neither did he. But that didn't mean it wasn't eating away at him. What had happened between them so far? He knew she'd seen her "one true love" three times since that night he'd been so drunk. Had they made passionate love in his room? Had they had hot sweaty sex in a closet in a random hall? Or...had nothing happened at all?

Why had he asked her to kiss him? He wished he was one of those people that forgot everything they'd done while intoxicated by the next day, but no, he had to remember that he'd acted like an idiot.

And what had she done? She'd patted him on the head like a good little idiot deserved.

"So anyway, where were you all of yesterday?" She'd just been blathering on about nothing or importance. It drove him crazy that she was acting so normal when he was feeling so...not. He jumped up, shaking the little table.

"Are you really so blind? Can you not see anything that's shoved under your nose?"

"What are you talking about?" She was cautious, asking slowly, like she didn't want to say the wrong thing. Too late.

"What should I ever bother, it's not important. If it was important, you'd know, right? I mean, I couldn't  _possibly_  expect you to know! That's fine, go on, be deluded. I don't care!"

"Glynn, what is  _wrong_  with you? You're acting crazy. No, I have no idea what you're talking about, and you're not helping the situation by being cryptic! Just tell me what in the galaxy you're talking about!"

"I-I..."  _SAY IT, IDIOT!_ "I just...miss you."

"What?" Obviously she had expected something completely different.

He sat. "Well, we've become pretty close friends over the last three months or so, and...I've gotten sort of used to having you around. And now that you're always gone-"

"I'm not always gone."

"OK, not always. But now that there are people other than each other for us to talk to a lot...it's just hard to adjust. I guess it's this way with everything you get used to. I should know that by now. Sorry for being such a jerk about it I just don't want to lose you. I mean-" he stopped himself from making excuses. He had to stop hiding. "I mean, I don't want to lose you."

"Glynn." She seemed understanding, caring, reassuring. "I'm always going to be available for whatever you need. I'll always talk and try to help you with whatever I can, even if you're far away. You're right about the friends thing. You're probably, well, my best friend. I feel closer to you than I've ever felt to anyone."

"Except Skywalker."

She dropped her eyes. "Yes. Except Luke," she said quietly, and without much enthusiasm.

_Saera, I love you. Please see that. Oh, Gods, how I wish you could see that. Don't make me come begging for your love. You'll break me, Saera._

"Glynn..."

"What?"

"Well...it's nothing. Forget it."

"No really, what? Tell me."

"Well..." she looked down at her fingers on the top of the table. "Why did you do that in the hall? That whole slinging your arm around me? What was that about?" Her tone was slightly accusing, and he knew she had a right to be.

"I don't know...no, that's a lie. I do know, but you don't, do you?" He sighed. There was a way he could show her instead of telling her, as he seemed unable to do.

He got up and went around the table so he was standing next to her. "There's something I have to do. Stand up."

Slowly she rose and stared up in to his eyes. He held her gaze, trying to put as much emotion into his expression as possible. Her nervous eyes, quivering lip, everything was drawing him in. She looked like she had that time they'd kissed.  _So long ago..._  Too long ago.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands and, silently, without another word, gently kissed her. Slowly the kiss became more passionate and he held her close. She was kissing him back, but he didn't take the time to analyze what that meant. He just continued to try to show her exactly how he felt.

When they parted she was shaking and crying. He realized her tears were on his cheeks. "Stop it, Glynn. You're confusing me." She tried to push away but her continued to hold her and she had to give in because she was sobbing too hard to do anything about it. "Why are you doing this to me? I don't understand!" she moaned out between sobs and poundings of her fists against his chest.

"Maybe you aren't supposed to." He sighed and pulled her head closer to his chest to stop her from hitting him. "Maybe it's just...one of those things, like you said, One of those random things." He chuckled. "Remember that? You were so angry at me for just trying to talk to you."

"Yes," she mumbled, her head resting with her ear to his heart. "Sorry."

"It's OK, I need someone mad at me sometimes, just to make life interesting. I don't know how I'm going to live without you." He could feel himself choking up.

"Probably a lot better off." Her body had stopped heaving against him whenever she breathed in, and the wetness on his shirt had stopped spreading.

"No, never. I'll miss you for all my life." He knew he must sound strange, and she gave him a funny look. Her could feel his heart starting to crack. Gods, he needed her in his life! He couldn't live without her. Why couldn't he tell her that? He willed himself, but...nothing.

"I'll miss you too, Glynn." She drew back, gave him a little smile, and sat back down to finish eating.

He sat also, even though at that very moment his heart had broken under the pressure and had splintered into a million pieces of cutting glass. Because when she'd said that she'd miss him, it had truly sounded like goodbye.

"Is Saera here?"

Skywalker. Skywalker was here, at the entrance of Glynn's ship, asking to see Saera.

Skywalker.  _Sky_ walker. SKYwalker. No matter how many times that name popped through Glynn's head, he still wanted to sock the guy in the jaw. Except harder than when Saera had hit him...maybe hard enough to send splinters of bone into his brain...

"I don't know, where else would she be?"  _Driving a spike into my heart?_

"Umm, can I see her?"

"Maybe. Do you love her?"

"Excuse me?" Wonderboy was caught completely off guard.

"It's an easy question," Glynn snapped. "Yes or no? Do you love her?"

"Uh, I'm not sure." Skywalker was looking very nervous.

"How can you not be sure? You've known her for 95 percent of your life! How can you not be sure?"

"I..." he seemed at a loss for words. Good. He deserved to be confused. "Can I leave her a message?"

Glynn looked at him scornfully. "You really are clueless. She'll kill me if I don't let you in." He felt tired suddenly. He didn't want to feel so terrible all the time. He wanted the mad speeder ride to end, even if it ended in a crash. "Just go in. Second door on the left," he gestured, then shuffled off towards his cockpit. All hope was most definitely lost.

"Oh, Luke! You're back! Why didn't you tell me?" Saera hugged him where he stood at her door.

"I only just got in about a time part ago. I still have to file a report. But I just wanted to come see you."

"But I haven't had anytime to get ready or anything!" What do you mean? You look very nice."

Oh. Thanks." She smiled and lowered her eyes, but that wasn't how she felt. At first she'd been excited that Luke had said she looked 'very nice.' Then she'd remember that Glynn had called her beautiful just a few days ago. Being called beautiful was better than looking-

"What's that?" There was a muffled screaming coming from a different room.

"I don't know..." She supposed it was Glynn, but what was he doing? She heard blaster bolts being fired.

"Oh my Gods, what is going on?" She rushed out of the room.

Skywalker on his ship! That Gods-damned bastard! He couldn't deal with this! Enraged, he grabbed a bowl lying on the table on his way to the cockpit and threw it, slamming it against the opposite wall. The hard plastic didn't break like he wished it would, so he grabbed his blaster from its holster and started beating the bowl, yelling, picturing Skywalker's face on the bowl.

"I loved you! I loved you! You chose him, and I loved you!" he screamed, finally crushing the bowl beneath the metal of his weapon, face contorting in to anguished shapes. "I loved you!" He stood back a few feet and aimed his blaster at the mass of broken plastic, firing and yelling wordless sounds. The plastic melted, molding into a puddle on the floor.

"Glynn! What the hell are you doing?" He stopped, turning to see Saera, mouth agape, staring at the mess of plastic on the floor. Skywalker came running up behind her, confusion and worry written on his face. Glynn felt his anger boil as he saw him place a hand on her shoulder to look over it.

"Glynn? Hello? What is wrong with you?"

"The bowl," he said, hearing his own voice livid and burning. "Is evil."

"What are you talking about? What's wrong?" She was still irritated, but he could see the worry starting to show. He loved her so much for it...but he could also see she was slightly scared, and he knew it was because he was acting so violent. He calmed himself down, for her sake. He never wanted to see her scared because of him. He never wanted to see her genuinely scared at all...

"Nothing. I'm fine. I need to clean up this mess." He turned and heard her walking behind him, felt her hand light upon his arm.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes held a worry for him that almost made him break down into tears.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Oh-OK." She left with Skywalker, looking back once. Then he was left alone.

"It's just that I love you," he whispered to the air that was left where she'd stood.

"Are you sure he'll be OK?" Luke asked as they went back to her room.

"Yes, I think he will."

"He just looked...so angry. And so depressed. Do you know..."

"What?"

"Well, do you know what he feels for you? Because I think he might really care about you. A lot."

"Of course he does. He's like my best friend."

Luke's face darkened. "I don't mean like that. I think he cares about you as more than a friend."

"Oh, don't be silly. Glynn has...other things to worry about."

"Like?" Luke wasn't giving this up.

"Like...I don't know. His ship. Finding his next job. That should be easier once I pay him. The  _Gaellia_  needs knew light-speed engines."

"So that's all he has to worry about? Buying a new _engine_?"

"Well, sure..."

"I don't know. Saera, you should've heard-" he stopped himself suddenly.

"What? What should I have heard?"

"Nothing. Never mind. You obviously don't want to talk about it. But anyway, are we just going to stand around here all day, or are we going to go bug some one? How about General Rieekan? Leia seems to like him, so maybe he won't call sec on us like Mon Mothma did."

Saera sighed. "Isn't there anything to do on this planet besides drive the Rebellion's high council mad? I mean, I know that's the kind of thing we used to do on Tatooine, but we're adults now, Luke. I'm an adult. Enough with the childish antics."

"I know, I know, we're 'all grown up.' It's just that with such a dangerous job, where you could be blown up any second and you're constantly reminded of it...it's nice to act like a kid. That's why it's so great to have you here. You remind me of what it was like before all this happened." He reached out and touched her cheek gently as she smiled slightly.

"But even you're changed, Saera." He sighed and withdrew his hand. "How could I expect you not to? You've seen the galaxy; you've seen a world outside of Tatooine. I think you've changed in a good way."

"You've changed too, Luke." She looked into his eyes, searching. "But you're still the same boy that was the only one I'd ever hang out with. And the only one I'd trust to go in a speeder with. You may have been crazy, but you were still the only one who knew what he was doing. I guess you proved that to the whole galaxy, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He smiled. She felt his fingers brush against hers and grabbed them, holding him tightly. It was reassuring, and in that moment, Saera realized that she truly loved Luke, as a friend. He was such a wonderful person, how could she not love him as a friend? It was good to just hold his hand and look at him and not think about kissing him or throwing herself at him. In that moment, it was good enough to just be great friends.

"Everything's so different now, isn't it? No more farm boy and small town girl. Why did we have to grow up? Everything was so much simpler when all we knew was Tatooine."  _No kidding,_ she thought, pictures of a forlorn Glynn standing over a melted puddle of plastic. "Do you think anyone else knows what that's like?"

"Glynn might be able to, if what you told me about where he grew up is right."

"No, Glynn can't know." Why did he keep bringing him up? She didn't want to talk about him. She didn't eve n want to think about him. Glynn was chaos, and she was tired of chaos. "He grew up in at least some sort of semi-city. You and I, we come from the same place. We've known each other all our lives, and that gives us something he can never hope to achieve."

"If he was given time, he could probably compensate quite well."

"Why do you keep talking about him? I don't want to think about it. He's not important!"

"Saera, you can't just throw someone away and say they're not worth anything!"

"Oh, come on, you know I don't mean that. I'm just tired to talking about everything. First Glynn, now you. All men want to do with me is talk! I thought it was supposed to be the other way around! I just want to sit and...sit." She moved across the room and plunked down on her bunk, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms and putting. Surprisingly, he joined her, placing his arm over her shoulder and smiling down at her.

"You're really something, you know," he whispered into her hair.

"Hey, I said no talking, remember?" She let herself relax into his arms, resting her head on his chest. While the 'being friends' thing was nice, she had to concede that this was far better.

So. He wasn't worth anything. He was someone to talked to when there was no one else around, but as soon as Sir Knight Luke came riding along in his shiny new X-Wing, he was worthless. He could deal with that. In fact, now that he'd learned he was about as valuable as the wall he was leaning against, Glynn didn't need to tell Saera that he loved her. Anyway, how could a wall love?

All he'd wanted to do was apologize for acting like such a jerk, to tell Skywalker that he's won; she was his. Then to get them off his ship as fast as possible so he could pilot himself into the nearest black hole.

But the he'd overheard his name, so he stopped to listen. That was when she'd said he didn't matter and she didn't want to talk about him.

It hurt him, that he meant nothing to her, that she felt like everything they'd been through together was worthless. Certainly, he deserved more than to be cast aside at her whim? Obviously not. It seemed like the last three months had been a total waste of time; they seemed to mean nothing to her. All he'd gained was a more pessimistic attitude towards life and a taste of unrequited, bitter love.

Screw her. If she didn't care, why should he? But he did care. He cared enough that he was going to tell her how she'd ruined his life and how much he wished everything had turned out differently. He was going to make sure she knew how much she'd messed him up.

He signed the note, folded the flimsy in half, and placed it in the pocket of her jacket.


	23. Chapter TwentyThree

"So what should we do now?" Saera caught a glimpse of Luke's smile as she twisted her head up to see him as he asked.

"I don't know, find somewhere new to sit?"

"Have you become boring in you old age, Saera?"

"No! Just more...placid, maybe."

"I knew it. That's another word for boring!" He grinned teasingly down at her.

"No it's not! Placid means clam and tranquil, like a glassy lake on a still cay.

"Ha. Like a glassy lake on a still day. I'll believe it when I see it."

"I can be more glassy than you'll ever be, Luke Skywalker!"

"I'm sure," he laughed.

"You bet your X-Wing!"

"Never!" He placed his hand over his heart in mock shock. "The boys in Rogue Squadron would rip me to shreds! Not mention owing the Alliance all those credits."

"Don't worry, I'd give it back."

There was a knock at the door that shocked her into jumping up and off the bed. "Come it!" she yelled quickly, not quite thinking. The door opened to Glynn, looking defeated, worse than when she' last seen him. At first he seemed surprised to see Luke on the bed, then a little resigned to it.

"Whatever you guys are doing, don't do it on my ship."

"We weren't, um-" she tried to explain, flustered, but realized that he didn't seem to care. "We were just sitting around."

"Whatever. Look, someone called, wants to see you down at the mess hall. Solo, yeah, it was Solo."

"I guess I better leave..." Luke looked a little reluctant, but not like he'd wanted to get in Glynn's way. "I'll see you later..."

"She should go too. Uh, he wants her there. Yeah. Go."

"Great." She reached out and took Luke's hand, noticing as she did so that Glynn winced. "Are you OK, Glynn?"

"Oh, sure, why wouldn't I be?" His voice was almost neutral except for the slightest hint of sarcasm.

"Well...bye then." He seemed indifferent. It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did. It was obvious that Luke was completely off the mark on this one.

"I told you he had it bad," Luke said, dropping her hand as she grabbed her coat and they headed out the door of the Gaellia. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and she couldn't grab one again.

"What are you talking about?"

"Glynn. He feels something for you, Saera, I just know it."

"Oh, I'm sure. Could you not see him completely ignoring me?"

"He was distant, not disinterested. He looked hurt. He looked like part of him died."

"Do you even hear what's coming out of your mouth?" she asked, incredulous.

"Hey, it's just what I think. Take it or leave it. I'm not asking you to do anything drastic, but next time you get the chance, talk to him. If you really consider him a friend, maybe you can help him."

"Of course I'll talk to him. I just didn't know anything was wrong."

"Now who's ignoring whom?"

A few minutes later they reached the mess hall. It was pretty deserted, being mid-afternoon. In fact, the only reason Luke wasn't off in a sim or something was because he'd just gotten back from a mission.

"I don't think he's coming," Saera sighed half a time part later. She and Luke had been talking about random thins, so they hadn't noticed time, but now it was obvious that Han Solo was not going to appear. "Maybe it was just a mistake."

"Hmn, I don't really care if he's not coming. It's great just talking by ourselves." He smiled at her, and she felt her heart beat a little faster. "It's nice just to be with you again. I really did miss you, like I knew I would."

"Then...then why haven't you tried to talk to me before? Why didn't you tell me where you were going, at least that you weren't dead!" He seemed surprised by this and, truthfully, she didn't know what she was thinking.  _Just let him go on, don't interrupt! You could have been getting somewhere, and you just blew it!_

"I...was very confused. I didn't know what to do. Ben wanted to leave the second it was possible. I didn't have time to do anything but jump on for the ride. And the, before I knew it, I was part of the Alliance, and you know what their sec is like."

 _Yeah, real great._  "Did you ever, once think about me? While you were on one of your "missions," while you were having a good time with Captain Solo and the Princess?"

"Well-"

"I though about you every day. I thought about you every second. These past three months, all I've done is look for you. But did you ever think of me?"

"Saera, I'm sorry. Truthfully, I did think about you sometimes, but not as often as I should have. Maybe you wasted your time coming to look for me. I don't think I deserve that kind of devotion from you."

"Luke, don't say that! Of course you deserve it, you're the only one! You're perfect!" What was she doing? "You've always been perfect. I've always loved you."

"What?"

"I've always loved you." It felt so strange, saying it, but now it was finally off her chest and she could breathe.

"Platonically, right?" His eyes were wide and his jaw somewhat disconnected from the rest of his face.

"No," she whispered.

"Saera, I...I don't know what to say."

"What do you mean?" She could feel her eyes misting up.

"Well, I can't tell you that I feel the same way, because I don't know if I do. The past week or so has been so confusing. I feel something, I just don't know what. It's strange, I...I need to think for a second." He held his hand over his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut. "You  _love_  me?"

"Can't you see that? I've always loved you! Ever since I can remember! Before i even knew what it was to love! Luke, please say something! I can't bear this." She was in tears. Right now, she didn't feel like she was in love. She just felt sick in the pit of her stomach. It was horrid.

"Saera...I...don't love you." He looked at her apologetically. "I wish I could save you the pain, but I don't think I'll ever love you like that. I'm so sorry."

She waited for the pang, the agonizing pain, but it didn't come. Why wasn't she feeling anything? Was it possible...that she didn't truly love him? That Glynn had been right, it was just a schoolgirl infatuation, and all of this was for nothing?

She felt suddenly cold and shoved her hands into her pockets, shivering. Something thin and cleanly cut crumpled slightly in her finger. She pulled it out. On the front was her name, in Glynn's handwriting. She opened the note and read. Emotions flooded her, she was pouring out tears, and she was realizing. She was realizing.

At the last line the flimsy slid from her shaking fingers.

"Luke, I have to go. Glynn. I-I have to go."

He didn't look like he understood completely, but at the same time was slowly nodding. "Go to him. He loves you, Saera."

"I know."

As Saera ran out the door, Luke slowly picked up the slip of flimsy. He shouldn't be reading a private note, but her had a feeling he could help with whatever was going on, and that he already knew everything written about. He started.

_Saera-_

_I love you. There. I said it. Took me long enough. Every second I'm with you I want to scream it out, but I guess I'm too much of a coward. What if you rejected me? I couldn't live; you've got me woven around your finger so much. And when you're with HIM...Saera, the thought of you and HIM, "loving" each other, it makes me crazy. I don't think I'm ever going to get over this. You're the first woman I've ever loved, and I think you'll be the last. Gods, how can I be so stupid, I've let you get away! If I wasn't such a damn coward...but no. You would've chosen him anyway, wouldn't you?_

_I can't do this anymore, this pretending to be sane. Your things are in HIS room, that's probable where you'll sleep now, anyway. Why HIM? Why love HIM? He's not that special. He doesn't love you, not really. I could have loved you so much, if I'd had a chance. I do love you so much...I don't know. I think I'm beginning to lose my ability to think. I'm leaving, and I'm gone forever._

He'd known it. He should have said something more. But that wasn't important now. What was important now was that Saera get to the  _Gaellia_  before Glynn jetted out of there forever.

As he ran to where he was needed, he urged Saera on with the Force. He knew it wasn't much, he knew it might not even help. But it was worth a try.

He was gone.

He'd just gotten his clearance to leave. A few more minutes and he'd be in hyperspace, away from this wretched planet. A few more minutes, and he was gone.

Saera ran. She'd never run this much or this hard in her entire life. She was starting to cramp, she was getting out of breath, but she ran, focusing on one thing. She had to get to Glynn. She had to tell him that she loved him. She knew no that she did. Suddenly, it had become the most important thing in the universe to let him know that she loved him.

Glynn did the pre-flight checks. Everything was fine. He started the Gaellia's engines, slowly. The thrum of her heart somewhat soothed him, but nowhere near enough. He keyed in with the traffic controller. He was OK. He gently lifter her off the ground and short her up into space. He sat there for a bit. Something started to beep, but he didn't care. He didn't care about his ship. He was too deep in his brooding. He punched in random coordinates-he didn't know where to go. Without her, he was lost.

Saera saw the hangar door and put on a burst of speed she didn't know she had. Panting, she opened the door. The  _Gaellia_  wasn't there. It wasn't there. She collapsed to the floor and looked up. Glynn's ship was slowly receding into space. She had been so close, but he was gone. He was gone, forever and ever, and he wasn't coming back. She began to sob. Everything was over. He was gone. Everything was over.


	24. Epilogue

"Commander Skywalker, a message just came in for you."

Luke wondered who it could be from. It was a little late at night. "Thanks, Sayl, just put it through here." He was in his room in the new Rebel base, the one that had just been established about a week ago. This one had larger rooms and fewer personnel, the latter for security reasons.

The Rebel officer's face dissolved into a picture of Saera.  _Saera?_  He touched the play button.

"Hey, Luke! It's me. Well, you can see that. But anyway, it's been a long time since we talked, huh? Of course it has. But that's my fault. It was just hard to find you guys, with the relocation of the base and the big net of communication rings and stuff. Rebel sec really  _is_  paranoid. Anyway, I just wanted to send a message saying that I'm sorry for being such a dork before. I mean, really. No offense or anything, but I was an idiot to think I was in love with you. OK, that sounded really mean. I'm sorry." She pouted slightly, and he had to laugh. "Anyway, I really do want to be friends, still, just like we always were. I mean, you're like a brother to me. Really. And I  _do_  love you platonically. I just want us to still be friends, OK?

"And next, I wanted to thank you. Thank you so, so much for stopping Glynn. He was all ready to make a jump to hyperspace. If you hadn't beeped him when you did...I don't know what I'd have done.

"We're going back to Tatooine. I kind of promised my dad that I'd come back after I'd found you. I'll make sure everyone on Tatooine knows that you're healthy and doing great. Unless you don't want me to." She got a worried look on her face. "Maybe you should drop me a line, hmmn? I don't want to 'compromise your position' or something." He had to laugh again at her use of the phrase without really knowing what she was talking about.

"So, I guess I'll talk to you again, maybe. Please send a transmission back. Oh, and Glynn wants to say something-" she was pushed off screen momentarily, then managed to pop back up, glaring playfully off to the left. "He'll be on in a sec."

The tape blanked out for a second, and then he saw Glynn on the screen.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes!" Someone hissed. "Don't worry, I'll find  _some_  way to make you."

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, only half annoyed. Then he squinted at something just in front of him. "Um, did you already turn it on?"

"Oh great! Now it got all that. Hurry up, and you'd better apologize for this, too!"

"OK, OK!" He plastered a goofily fake smile on." Sorry, Luke, for you catching my unenthusiastic attitude towards this activity. Oh, and sorry for being an ass."

"GLYNN!" Saera shrieked, jumping on him and pulling him off screen. There was a pained yelp, and then the screen went fuzzy for about a second. Luke eyed it warily. Then another image of Glynn came up.

"Hey, Skywalker, I have to whisper because I don't want Saera to hear this," he said in a hushed tone. "She can't know I actually appreciate what you did for us. But I do. I know you didn't have to, but you did. I really  _was_  a giant ass, and you still tried your hardest to help, and it worked. And, Luke, I felt something of you on her when she told me she loved me. I don't mean she smelled like you or something weird like that. No, whatever it was, I'm pretty sure it had to do with the Force. So thanks, for everything you did. I'm in your debt, if you ever need a favor or something. May the Force be with you." The camera blinked up again, and Saera appeared once more.

"Bye! Remember to record a message if you can, or come home to Tatooine again! I'll talk to you later!" The message ended with a frozen frame of Saera smiling. He liked that picture. It was a picture that Glynn had created, like he knew he would. She was so happy with him, and he knew he'd made the right choice in helping them.

Luke turned the screen off and walked over to the little window at the end of his room. He gazed up at the stars, and all the blackness in between them. It felt good knowing that somewhere in all that blackness there was a tiny splinter of light, created by two people in love.


End file.
